What It's Like
by FriendsLovers
Summary: Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now? - Eliot/Parker
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.

* * *

The bar had cleared a long while ago. Even the team had left. Only Parker had stayed, had moved from their table to the bar, and was now staring at the bottom of her empty glass. She wasn't into alcohol: it made people lose control. In fact, she was surprised Nate tended to turn to it, as he hated to lose control more than anything.

No, she preferred juices, milk, stuff like that. Those didn't have the effect of clouding one's mind though, and right now, such a clouded mind was exactly what she was longing for. She could understand why people liked to drown their feelings. Feelings were complicated, they were confusing, and definitely not something for someone who had never learnt how to deal with them in the first place.

The world would be an easier place if one didn't have to deal with feelings. For quite a while, Parker had been rather successful with that. She had been alone, only had to deal with herself. For what she did, she needed to concentrate, to focus. Feelings weren't needed.

Then she had met the team, had started to work with them, and somewhere along the line, it had happened. She had adjusted to being around them, to having them by her side. She had started to enjoy their company.

And with adjusting to people had come the feelings. Feelings that could be quite funny at times, and then horribly confusing. The worst were those that hit one without a warning, went deep and caused a lump in her throat, made her heart race. Those that made her nervous, made her instinct to flee kick in. But she couldn't flee, because deep inside, she didn't want to. She didn't want to deal with those feelings either though.

Closing her eyes, she shook her head. A soft sigh escaped her. She had been okay with herself during all those years. Or at least so she had believed. Now, years after she had met the team for the first time, she couldn't help but wonder how she would have turned out if she had met at least one person who had taught her to deal with feelings. Her father had taught her what pain and fear felt like. In foster care, she had learnt that just because someone claimed to be your friend, it didn't mean they were saying the truth. In her foster families, she had learnt that she couldn't rely on anyone. Around Archie, she had learnt what she knew: how to steal, how to use her 'talent', how he had called it.

But never she had learnt what it was like to care, to love. Those feelings made no sense to her, because she didn't know how to recognize them, how to deal with them. And now she was sitting in a bar, alone, overwhelmed by the world around her, yet incapable of escaping it because she needed it so badly.

Barely, she heard how the bar's door was opened and closed again. She didn't bother to look up as someone joined her at the bar. She had already recognized the visitor before he had even reached her. Being with a team had taught her a lot after all. Still with her eyes closed, she listened as he got himself a drink, grateful for the fact that he didn't ask her why she hadn't come upstairs yet. They stayed silent for a while, just sat beside each other, until Parker felt the urge to speak up and break the quiet.

"They're really going to get married, right?" she wanted to know, finally opening her eyes again.

"Seems like that," Eliot answered. "Not that it's really a surprise. Nate and Sophie have been after each other even before we met them."

Parker nodded slowly. Yes, Sophie and Nate would get married. He had proposed to her earlier, in front of everyone. Which had obviously impressed Sophie as tears had been rising in her eyes and she hadn't hesitated to say 'yes'.

"You got a problem with that?" he wanted to know.

She shook her head. "No."

"But?" She could almost feel the questioning look he was giving her. Of course he wouldn't ask what was wrong, because she would never admit that something was wrong in the first place. But she knew he wouldn't leave either until he got the answers for his questions. It was one part of belonging to a team.

"I'm wondering what it's like," she stated then.

"What it's like?"

She nodded again. "Yeah, what it's like. You know, loving someone so much. Being loved back. Being happy with each other. Like them." She looked up. "You know what it's like, don't you?"

"Kinda, yeah." Eliot nodded hesitantly. "It's been a while though."

"So you forget what it's like after a while?"

He shook his head. "No, not really."

"Then tell me, what is it like?" she wanted to know. "And is it worth the risk?"

"The risk of being hurt you mean?" The hint of a smile lit his face as she nodded. "Well, it's nothing you can't really prevent from happening, you know? It's not like you decide whether or not you want to fall in love with someone. It just happens. It's a strange experience, that's for sure. It makes you feel good. It's nothing you can't really describe. You have to experience it yourself. And it hurts like shit when it's over. Is it worth the risk of being hurt? I don't know, maybe? I'm not sure I'm the right one to ask that, to be honest."

"Sophie thinks it's a good thing," Parker replied quietly. "That jumping in and feeling vulnerable makes you feel alive. I wonder if she and Nate aren't afraid of what it'd be like if they didn't work out."

Eliot shrugged. "Well, they know each other for quite a while. They've gone through a lot of ups and downs and are still willing to get married. I bet it's in their minds, but guess for them, it's worth the risk." He paused. "Do you want to experience that as well? Love?"

Parker turned her attention back to the glass in front of her. She knew the conversation was heading into a dangerous territory. In fact, it had been a bad idea right from the start. Love was the most confusing and most painful feeling of all in her opinion. Talking about it with Sophie had been difficult enough. Talking about it with Eliot was even harder. Especially as she tended to avoid conversations with depth, conversations that showed that she was more than the funny, crazy thief she liked to show to her friends most of the time.

"I think I wouldn't even realise if I was in love in the first place," she decided to say. "I mean,..." She hesitated again. Her instinct to flee was kicking in again, but closing her eyes, she forced herself to ignore it. She had a question, and it wanted to be asked, no matter what she would probably get herself into with it.

"When you're in love," she started. "Do you feel...some strange kind of tickling inside you when you're around the person you like? When they...look at you, or touch you, or talk to you? Do you...want to be around them as much as you can, because you feel so comfortable around them, yet you can't handle being around them because while it feels good, it hurts at the same time? Does your heart race in this strange way, as if you've run really far? Is that what being in love feels like?"

"Pretty much, yeah." He nodded. "How do you know that? Do you have such feelings for someone?"

Once more, Parker squeezed her eyes shut. She had expected he would ask this question, and the instinct to just get up and leave the bar, to run as far as she could, was getting almost unbearable.

"Maybe," she whispered. "So that's it? That's what being in love is like? It's not nice at all. It hurts. I don't see why Nate and Sophie would enjoy that. Why they'd think it's worth it."

"It doesn't hurt when the feelings are mutual," Eliot told her.

"Great." A painful smile lit her face as she stared back into her glass. "Then I'll just continue to hurt forever."

"What makes you think that? I guess you didn't even tell the guy you have such feelings for him in the first place, right? You didn't even know that you're actually in love until a minute ago. You should though."

"I can't," Parker whispered. She could hear how he pulled his barstool closer to her. Her heart was pounding hard in her chest as her hands clenched tightly around the slim, empty glass.

"Why not?"

"I'm scared." She bit her bottom lip, trying her best to steady her breath. She should have just dropped the topic. Should have just gone upstairs with the team earlier.

"Of what? That he doesn't feel the same way?" Eliot wanted to know. "Don't worry, I could imagine Hardison..."

"Hardison?" Spinning around, she stared at him in disbelief. "I wasn't talking about Hardison!"

"Sorry." He raised his hands in defence. "I just guessed it could be him because it's not like you know that many men. At least none that you know long enough to..."

His voice trailed off. He raised his eyebrows then, as he studied her with an expression that made her even more nervous. An inner voice was telling her that she had gone too far.

"I think I'll go upstairs now," Parker managed to say. With shaking legs, she got off her barstool, turned to head for the exit. She froze in place as he grabbed her hand, preventing her from leaving.

"Wait a second," Eliot told her. She could feel how he got up as well, how he stepped behind her. He let go off her hand again, but even if she had wanted to, she couldn't have run.

"Listen, what you're feeling," he told her quietly. "It's nothing to be afraid of. It hurts because you can't see it working out. Because nothing that involved feelings ever really worked out for you, right? I'd still suggest you go for it. Because you could be surprised by the result. In a good way." Once again, he took her hand and made her turn around to face him. She forced herself to look him into the eyes.

"You think so?" she wanted to know.

Eliot nodded. "Trust me. There's no need to be afraid. Not this time." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before he added, "You'd like us to go upstairs now?"

Parker just nodded in response. In silence, she followed him out of the bar, never letting go of the hand she was still holding. And with every step she made, she felt a tiny bit less confused, a tiny bit less frightened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.  
**Author's note: **First of all, thanks so much for the reviews to ckh, saides and TsukiLunar1! And also for adding the story. :) Thanks to the lovely feedback, I decided to write another chapter for this. Might even do more, who knows. ;) Thanks so much again!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

When exactly he had started to see her in a different light...he couldn't really tell. It must have been a slow process, so Eliot assumed. Parker had sneaked her way into his heart, unintentionally of course, more and more with every year he knew her. Falling for someone like that was the worst, because one wouldn't see it coming until it was too late. There was no way to prevent it from happening.

She was Parker after all. The crazy little thief who didn't skip a chance to drive him crazy, in one way or another. Either she dropped weird comments in the most inappropriate moments and ways, or she would shock him with the way she would just jump off a skyscraper as if it was nothing. Most likely, for her, it really was nothing anyway. What did one expect from a woman who thought one could walk up a mountain with no problem?

No, he hadn't expected that somewhere along the line, he would see more in her than just a friend. That friendship would develop eventually hadn't come as much of a surprise, although said step had been quite of a challenge for her. There was a reason why she hadn't revealed her real address to them right away. She had needed long until she had finally started to trust in them enough.

But that he would discover other, more intense feelings somewhere along the line? That had come as a surprise for sure. He couldn't deny that although they were so different in so many ways, they had quite a lot in common as well. He had caught himself caring for her more than necessary for a friend, thinking of her more than necessary, too. It had just happened, somewhere along the line, and Eliot knew there was no sense in questioning how and when it had happened.

That Parker would have feelings for him as well though had been entirely unexpected. Eliot had noticed that her behaviour around him had changed with the time, especially during the last couple of weeks and months. He hadn't really been able to explain it to himself, and had simply decided to blame it on her being her usual strange self.

How should he have known that Parker had simply major problems with her own developing feelings: feelings she didn't understand at all. He couldn't really blame her. These kinds of feelings weren't easy to deal with; a problem they shared with Nate and Sophie, who had needed long enough to figure out that what they really wanted was each other. Parker though had never learnt to deal with feelings, or to even understand them. She would only be confused by them, wondering what was wrong with her rather than understanding that a friend suddenly was no longer just a friend anymore.

Love could hurt. He knew that very well. Parker had also gotten to this point, mainly because she wasn't able to give in to what she wanted, as she hadn't even been aware of what that was in the first place. Eliot was glad it had been him who had joined her in the bar that night, had gone through this complicated conversation together with her, just to be hit by the realisation that it was him who was causing those confusing feelings deep within her. It had come as a shock, but soon had changed into a chance. She was falling for him? At least he didn't have to watch from the outside. He could step in and do something. And even though he had no idea how 'more than just friends' would look like when it came to them, he was willing to move their relationship forward.

Slowly and carefully of course. Eliot knew Parker was complicated. Much more complicated than him, which said a lot. While he had backed off from romantic relationships after the failed one with Aimee, had kept his interaction with women on a level that would prevent at least himself from getting hurt, she had never even come close to experiencing something like that. Parker wasn't a woman he could take out for dinner and try whatever trick he knew on. He couldn't just kiss her, and not just because there was the constant threat of being stabbed with a fork by her. Although he fairly doubted she would go that far when it came to him. Still, Parker was a woman who was easily scared by others getting too close to her, and certainly, that also counted for her own feelings. He would have to make one tiny step after the other if he wanted to get closer to her. She would be the one who'd decided how fast they would move forward. She would set the pace.

One step after the other. Inviting her for dinner seemed to be a good idea for the start. He just had to wait for the right moment to ask her, which didn't take him long. Although she still looked rather upset because of her own confusion, she was no longer playing a game of approaching and avoiding him anymore. Instead, his words obviously had gotten through to her as she followed him more than usually.

"What are you cooking?" she asked as she joined him in the kitchen of Nate's apartment, just like he had expected when he had headed there a couple of minutes ago. Instead of hopping onto the kitchen counter like she usually would though, she stepped next to him, peeking into the pans and pots.

"Nothing special really," Eliot answered with a short glance at her.

"Smells good though." Parker nodded as if to emphasize her own words. "May I watch?"

"Sure you may." Trying to not get too distracted by her presence, he focused on what he was doing again. Now was that moment he had been waiting for: Hardison was distracted by whatever computer game he was abusing the big screens for while Nate and Sophie were upstairs. There wouldn't be a better chance, unless he asked her for a private talk directly.

"You remember that talk we had a few nights ago? At the bar?" he asked carefully, mentally cursing himself. Since when was talking to a woman that complicated? Then again, this was Parker, not a stranger from a bar.

Even though she wasn't touching him in any way, he could feel how she tensed. "Um...yeah?"

"I was honest," he continued without looking up. "When I said you should just go for it, you know. That you shouldn't be afraid."

"Oh." She hesitated. "Um...but I don't really know...how..."

Eliot nodded slowly. "How does dinner sound to you?" As she didn't answer, he added, "I mean going out for dinner. Together. You and me." Looking up, he saw exactly what he had expected. She was unsure. Maybe even a little afraid. She hadn't been prepared for his offer, or for the topic being brought up in the first place. He sighed. "Listen, Parker. Those feelings we were talking about...we both know they're mutual by now, don't we? It's nothing to be scared of. I see where you're coming from though, and it's all entirely up to you. You set the pace. You decide which step is made when. There's no rush with anything. But we got to start somewhere."

She stared back at him, with an expression he knew only too well. She wouldn't allow him to have a look into her mind. She was considering her options, and which one was the safest for her. Eliot knew Parker trusted in him, probably more than she trusted in the others. She had revealed that before, unintentionally again. But she had reached a line that wasn't easy for her to cross, even with him.

"Okay," she said then, more to herself than to him seemingly. "So, dinner...? Do I have to wear one of Sophie's dresses for that?"

He shook his head. "No. Just wear whatever you feel comfortable in."

Not convinced, Parker raised an eyebrow at him. "But do people wear comfortable stuff when they go to a restaurant? I only ever see them wearing this fancy stuff you can't move in and those killer shoes."

"Who said we're going to such a place?" He winked at her. "Wear whatever you like. Nothing fancy is needed, believe me."

She stared back at him for another moment. Then, a broad smile lit her face for a brief moment and she nodded. The first step had been made.

* * *

"A diner?" Parker's eyes widened in surprise as they entered the location he had chosen for their first date. "But...that's not a restaurant!"

"It's not mandatory to go to a restaurant on your first date, Parker." Eliot guided her over to an empty table in the back of said diner, where they would have enough privacy to actually talk. "I thought you'd feel more comfortable in an environment like that."

The bright smile he received in response was more than he had dared to ask for. He had spent quite a while with wondering what would be the best location for their date. Parker didn't feel well when she had to dress up, and also not when she had to behave like a lady. Most women he would have taken to an expensive restaurant: the place itself would already have impressed them. But he could already picture Parker sitting on her chair, stiff and nervous, staring in disbelief at the huge amount of glasses and forks in front of her.

No, such a place was definitely not an option. After all, there was a purpose behind his invitation. He wanted to move their relationship a step further, wanted to make her feel comfortable with the idea of doing things a future couple did. Making her feel nervous, maybe even scared, wouldn't lead him anywhere.

So could there be anything more perfect than the casual environment of a diner? The expression in her eyes was answer enough.

"Can I order whatever I like?" Parker wanted to know, her eyes starting to sparkle as she read the menu.

"Of course." Eliot nodded.

A broad smile lit her face at his answer. "Even the biggest steak they have to offer?"

He couldn't suppress a chuckle. "Even that, yeah. Guess I should be able to afford that, too. As long as you can eat it..."

"Oh, of course I can." She nodded enthusiastically. What caught his attention even more though was the way she visibly relaxed as she put the menu aside again. There was no doubt his choice had been right.

"I'm glad you didn't take me to a restaurant," she confirmed his thoughts after they had placed their orders and the waitress had left again. "They never serve enough food to actually be full afterwards, and you feel like they're watching you all the time. You drop a fork? They go crazy on you. Or even dare to pick it up for you!"

"Yeah, that's really horrible of them." Eliot smirked at the glare she gave him in response. "Alright, I got it. And that's why we're here. I want you to feel comfortable. That's what a date should be about after all." He studied her for a moment. She didn't look as worried and nervous anymore as she had earlier when they had left. Instead, she almost seemed curious. "And now comes the part where you get to know each other a little better."

Parker's eyebrows shot up questioningly. "But we already do know each other."

"Yeah, we do," Eliot agreed. "But do we really know everything about each other yet?"

She shrugged. "Well, you know I'm a thief and live in a warehouse. That's quite a lot already."

Once again, he resisted the urge to chuckle. There had been a time when such a comment from her would have made him roll his eyes. By now, he had realised that she wasn't silly though, and even though he would never admit it, he found her quite adorable at times.

"See, this leads me to my first question," he said. "Why a warehouse? I don't know a single person except you who lives in a warehouse."

Much to his surprise, Parker's cheeks flushed at his question. "Um, well..." She hesitated and he knew the question was a lot more personal than he had expected it to be. She struggled with herself for a while and he was close to pulling back his question when she looked up eventually and answered, "It's easier that way."

"Easier for what?" he asked. Then it hit him and he almost regretted he had asked the question in the first place. "You mean it's easier to leave behind, yeah? If you have to run again. It's easier to say goodbye to a warehouse than to a house or an apartment you called your home."

Parker nodded. "Don't you feel the same way? I mean, you've been on the run quite a lot yourself."

"Yeah," Eliot agreed. "But still it feels good to come back to a place that actually deserves to be called a 'home' after a long day. Even if it might not stay your home forever. For that period of time though, it's nice."

She nodded again, obviously considering this option for the first time. She stared at the table in front of her for a couple of moments before she looked up again. "May I ask now?"

"Sure."

Not too long ago, such a conversation with Parker would have made him be the nervous one. Because Eliot knew there had been a question bothering Parker ever since a certain moment a while ago. Of course it had been her who had asked what he had done while working for Damien Moreau, and fortunately, she had stopped asking when he had told her not to. But back then already, he had felt that she wouldn't just forget about this topic, that the question was still spinning in her mind. What had he done? What had he done that it was bothering him so much?

Eliot had felt that the question would come up again, and he had been right. A couple of months ago, she had approached him again, in a moment when he hadn't been prepared for it at all. She had repeated her question, and he had reminded her of his previous answer. This time, she hadn't backed off though. She had wanted to hear it, had promised she would be able to take it, and wouldn't change her mind about him. After all, whatever he had done didn't change just because he wasn't talking about it, and it also didn't change who he was now, who she knew.

He had done it eventually, and had told her his entire story, with all the dark details. And she had done what only Parker could do: for once, she had just listened. There had been tears in her eyes, but all he could see in them was the fact that she felt sorry for him. She wasn't judging, she wasn't changing her opinion about him. Even as she knew every single detail about his past, she still assured him that for her, he was still the man she had gotten to know during the last couple of years. She had reminded him of Sophie's words that all of them had their past, had patted his back in a comforting gesture as he had been overwhelmed by pain and guilt.

Said moment had been the one when he had realised that there was much more to Parker than the crazy thief she showed to the team most of the time. And that she was entirely different to every other woman he knew. Very often, she didn't understand people's behaviour or situations, and believed in crazy things that made him want to roll his eyes at her. But she did understand him, in a way he would have never dared to imagine. She was the only one who knew everything about him, and she kept her promise. She didn't judge. She didn't back off, she didn't change her mind. He was still her friend, the man she trusted in more than she trusted in anyone else she knew. And somewhere along the line, he had turned into more than just a friend for her. There couldn't have been a better person than her for unloading his past and speaking out what he had been carrying with himself for such a long time.

Was it really a surprise that he had started to fall in love with her eventually?

"So, my question," Parker said then, interrupting him in his thoughts again. "Um...where do you live? You never told us. Or showed us where you live."

Shaking his head, Eliot tried to clear his mind and focus on their conversation again. "I own a house," he said then. "Outside of Boston."

"Oh, in the suburbs?"

"Not exactly." He smiled at her obvious curiosity. "It's a really quiet area. It's also not really a big house, but it has quite a huge yard."

Parker's eyes widened. "Why? I mean...that's not what I thought."

Eliot's smile widened. "That's the purpose of it, you know. For the case anyone's coming to look for me, they'd go and look for apartments, most likely in the middle of the city. No one would consider that I could live in a small house with a big yard and apple trees."

"Apple trees?" Her eyes seemed to widen even more. "Real apple trees?"

He couldn't help but laugh at her surprise, caused by this little detail. "Yeah. You know I like apples, don't you?" With a wink, he added, "As long as there are no razor blades in them. And I grow my own food, too. Told you so as well. You need some space for that."

"Wow." Parker looked impressed. And truly interested. She was indeed different to every woman he had met so far. In a good way, he had come to realise by now. She was complicated, but not in the way most women were. He couldn't impress her with compliments and flat tricks like that. There were different ways to Parker's heart, which made her all the more interesting to him. She was unique, in everything she did.

"Your turn," she said then.

Eliot nodded slowly. "Okay. My next question is..." He paused. "You had boyfriends before, didn't you?"

Parker, not the slightest bit irritated by his question, thought for a moment before she shrugged. "I don't really know, to be honest. I mean, I did kiss. And I also did the other blah stuff. But I only met them once, so does that count as a relationship already?"

"Not really," he stated. "What's 'the other blah stuff' though?"

"Oh, you know," she said as if it was obvious. "Sex."

"And that's blah why?" Eliot couldn't help but ask.

Parker rolled her eyes. "'Cause it is. I met this guy, and we kissed and then we had sex. It was totally boring. I thought I could give it another try with another man a while after that, but it was totally boring with him, too." She shrugged again. "Blah stuff."

"I see." Biting his tongue, he prevented himself from speaking out what else he had in mind. For example that obviously, she had just made poor choices when it came to men. But he didn't know for sure how she would react to that. Their conversation was interrupted just then as the waitress arrived.

"Oh my God!" Parker gasped. "Have you ever seen such a big steak?" Once again, she smiled brightly. "This is the best date ever, you know?"

With those words, she dug her fork into the food in front of her. Eliot's own plate was almost forgotten as he watched her, silently congratulating himself for his idea.

* * *

They had spent hours in the diner, and indeed had managed to get to know each other even better, despite all the years they had spent together already. By the time Parker started to look tired though, Eliot decided it was about time to leave. He didn't try to deny the fact that he hated the idea of this evening ending already. Although Parker had presented her fair share of crazy moments during their date, it had still managed to top everything he had dared to imagine.

"What should we do now?" she asked as they left the diner behind.

"How about I get you home and you catch some sleep?" he suggested. "You look tired."

"Oh, I'm not." She shook her head firmly. "Really, I'm not! I don't want to go home yet."

Eliot sighed at the look she was giving him in return. There was no way for him to convince her from the opposite. "Okay. Then what would you like to do?"

Parker stared back at him in silence for a moment. Almost shyly, she asked then, "Can we go to your house? I'd so like to see it."

"To...my house?" It was his turn to look at her in surprise.

She nodded. "Is that a bad idea? Because I'd really like to see how it looks like. You said it feels like a home, so I'm sure it's pretty."

Once more, he sighed. She was giving him that look again: a look no one in the team could resist, and sometimes, he wondered whether or not she was aware of what she was doing to them with it.

"Fine," he stated then. "Get into the car. We're going to my place." He couldn't help but smile as she squealed in delight and did like she was told.

On their way to the house, neither of them spoke much. What surprised Eliot at first made sense as he realised how she was paying close attention to their surroundings. He didn't have a doubt that she was trying to memorize the way to his home. He could see the curiosity in her eyes return, mixed with excitement as they neared their destiny.

"Here we are," he announced as he parked his car next to the house he called his home. He had barely turned the engine off as she had already left. Grasping his arm as he joined her at the small fence, she followed him inside, looking like a child on Christmas.

"I knew it!" she exclaimed as he led her into his living room, switching the lights on so she had a better view at her surroundings. "It's really pretty! No one's coming to look for you out here."

Eliot rolled his eyes at her playfully, unsure on whether or not that was actually a compliment. What he did notice though was the fact that she didn't let go of his arm, even as he led her over to the living room couch and made her sit down. The constant body contact was starting to get to him. They had shared a wonderful date. She showed true interested in him and his house. Keeping his promise to let her set the pace and not giving in to what he really wanted was slowly turning into a challenge.

He watched her in silence as she took in what she could see. Until she suddenly turned back to him, her eyes meeting his in an intense gaze that made him speechless. She never failed to impress him with how quickly her mood could change at times.

"I wanted to say thank you," she said. "'Cause it worked."

"What worked?" he wanted to know.

"The date," Parker answered. "It worked. I did feel comfortable. Very much even." She paused, studying him with an expression he couldn't interpret before she repeated, "It worked."

Eliot didn't manage to respond. He hadn't missed how close she really was. He could feel her warm breath tickling on his face, and was caught by those stunning eyes of her. There were times when they looked almost empty: not because there weren't any feelings she had to display though. The opposite was the reason. She was closing herself off from others with that, either because she was confused or afraid someone could figure out what she was really thinking.

And then, there were moments like this, when he thought he could look straight into her soul. His heart was pounding hard in his chest as he fought against the almost overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss her.

"It's you who sets the pace," Eliot said quietly, not sure whether he wanted to remind her or himself.

"I know," Parker whispered back with the hint of a nod. "But...I don't mind."

She was as cryptic as he knew her. Such an answer could mean everything in her case, and he didn't put it past her that she didn't know what he had in mind. Then again being naïve at times didn't mean she had no clue at all. Instinctively, Eliot had to think of the advice he had given to her that night at the bar. Just go for it. You might be surprise by the turn out.

And so, he did it. He didn't have to lean in much. Ever so lightly, he brushed his lips over hers, allowing her the option to back out if she wanted to. She didn't though, and so, eventually, he kissed her. It was a short, sweet kiss, just enough to test whether or not this was what she had in mind as well.

As Eliot pulled back, he found Parker gazing at him again. She looked surprised, but not in a way that made him believe he had gone too far.

"I still don't mind," she stated then, unintentionally or not giving him the signal he had been waiting for.

And so, he did it again, and this time, she kissed him back. He could feel her hesitate at first, carefully exploring, before she leant further into him. Instinctively, his arms wrapped around her and he pulled her closer. Just an inch, but said inch was enough. She relaxed into him, it was her who deepened the kiss, and it didn't take her more than a couple of seconds of kissing back to make him forget everything else around him. Except her, Parker, the crazy thief that wasn't as crazy as he had believed in the beginning.

This time, Eliot couldn't tell how long the kiss had lasted as they parted eventually. Instead of meeting his gaze again though, Parker wrapped his arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. Following his instinct once more, he held her close. He knew that getting more from her than a kiss and a hug was absolutely no option. Not if he truly wanted to make her trust in the idea that something more than just friendship could indeed work. One step after the other. She was setting the pace, and she was already letting him in more than he would have dared to imagine when he had asked her out for dinner.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" Parker asked then, startling him back to the present. Before he got a chance to reply, she added, "You know, just..."

"Sleep here," Eliot completed for her. "I got you, Parker. No worries. You're setting the pace. No blah stuff, I promise." He smiled as she chuckled.

"Well, the kiss wasn't blah." Wiggling around in his arm, she managed to sit up straight again and meet his eyes. There were sparks in her eyes that made his smile widen. Yes, she was aware of the situation and of her actions, as much as of his.

"The rest won't be blah either," he couldn't help but add with a wink. "But that's not interesting tonight." He leant in to place a quick kiss onto her forehead before he moved to get up. "I'll sleep in the guest room."

"What?" Parker stared at him in surprise. "Why? That's silly." She got up as well and walked into the direction where she assumed his bedroom to be. Stopping in the doorway, she nodded satisfied. "See? That bed is big enough for two people to sleep in."

"That's not why I suggested to take the guest room," Eliot answered, but she ignored his reply.

"I have no sleeping clothes though," she stated. "Can I have something of your stuff?"

Still a little surprised by her wish, he nodded. "Sure. Take one of the shirts." He watched her as she grabbed one, smile at him and left to head for his bathroom. Shaking his head, he started to get out of his clothes himself. Up until they had left the diner, the date had turned out exactly the way he had hoped it would. Then things had changed as soon as she had asked to go to his place with him. The kiss had proven it once and for all. He wanted her, more than anything else. But not in the way he had wanted women for so long. He didn't just want to sleep with her sooner or later. He wanted the whole package: her smiles as much as her weird moments, her trust as much as those moments in which he knew he could completely count on her in return. He wanted it all, and he was one major step closer to getting it. Who would have expected that?

Eliot had barely made himself comfortable in his bed as Parker returned, now dressed in only her underwear and one of his shirts, her hair tied back in a ponytail.

"How do I look like?" she asked with one of her bright smiles.

"Good," he stated. "Suits you well." He swallowed down the rest he wanted to say. For example that she couldn't look hotter than she did in his clothes. Except maybe naked. But again now was not the time for that.

Looking satisfied, she slid under the covers as well. "Can I move closer?" she wanted to know with a questioning look.

"I'm keeping my promise," he answered. "I'll behave. I won't make a move on you."

A smirk lit Parker's face as she answered, "Who says I won't make one on you? I might be weird, or crazy, but I'm not silly. Sophie taught me a lot about men."

"Is that so?" Eliot couldn't help but smirk himself. "Then it's actually me who has to be afraid now that we're sharing a bed?"

She giggled as she shook her head. Then she made herself comfortable, resting her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. She lay still for not more than a minute before she looked up again.

"Can I have another one?" she wanted to know.

"Another what?"

The smirk returned, tinier this time. "A kiss of course."

"Oh...sure." Eliot nodded. "You can have as many as you like, you know. They're for free."

Her smile widened as she adjusted her position and kissed him again. This time, there was no hesitation. Instead, he realised that there was something else to it he hadn't noticed before. He could feel her passion, in a soft, subtle way though, and he knew it was nothing he would respond to yet. Not tonight.

Parker offered another smile before she returned to her previous position. Eliot closed his arms around her, wrapping the blanket more firmly around the both of them. They lay in silence for a while until she spoke up again.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," she told him.

And this time, Eliot didn't need her to elaborate. He knew perfectly well what Parker was referring to. And even though it was her who was setting the pace, he knew they were making huge steps into the right direction already.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.  
**Author's note:** First of all, thank you so, so much for the sweet reviews, and for adding the story! Thank you! This story is a WIP now, because I really feel like adding more chapters to it now. :) Again, thank you so much! Here is a new update, thanks to the fact that I'm stuck in bed because of having the flu and having nothing better to do than to write. ;)

* * *

**Chapter 3:**

By the time Parker woke up again the following morning, sunshine was already finding its way into the bedroom, warming her face. Like usually, it didn't take her more than a matter of seconds to remember where she was: a gift needed when one had spent most of the time on the run.

Still with her eyes closed, she smiled as she snuggled further into the man next to her. Going out for dinner. A date. Parker could still remember how nervous she had been when Eliot had made the suggestion, and even more when the evening itself had approached.

How would such a date turn out? Was it a good idea? And was he serious about just wearing what she felt comfortable in? After all, women used to dress up for dinner dates. Sophie always did so.

Then again, Nate didn't take her to diners either. He would pick a fine restaurant, where they would eat those tiny meals and enjoy expensive wine together.

Yes, for something like that, one had to dress up and walk in killer shoes. But Eliot hadn't taken her to a restaurant. He had picked a cosy diner that served the best steak she had ever eaten. With the exception of his of course.

And the date had turned out to be the opposite of what she had feared. It hadn't been strange, or weird in any way. Not for a single second, it had felt awkward, not for a single second, she had felt uncomfortable. No, he had made sure that she would enjoy every moment of it.

Agreeing to go out with him had been the best decision she could have made, because she hadn't only spent hours with nice chats and delicious food, but because it had eventually helped her to get rid of the pain she had been feeling for way too long now. She had gotten the confirmation that those confusing, new feelings were mutual. That he liked her as much as she liked him, in this weird, intense way that frightened her as much as it excited her.

They had gone to his house, they had kissed, they had shared a bed, and Parker was convinced that she hadn't slept that well and especially not that deep in a very long time. Although she knew basically nothing about relationships, at least not from own experience, she was sure that usually, his dates turned out differently to this one. This fact just made her even more certain that her decision to trust in him, to share her confusion and feelings with him, had been the right one. Because he was allowing her to set the pace, and with that had taken away at least some of the fear caused by the idea of moving on from being friends to something else.

Opening her eyes eventually, she blinked a few times to adjust to the bright light. Carefully, she freed herself of his embrace and turned around until she could brace herself and have a clear view at his face. A smirk lit Parker's face as she lay still, watching Eliot in silence. She knew she had woken him up already when she had moved for the first time. Pretending to be still asleep though, he didn't seem to want to get up yet.

Parker's smirk widened. If he believed that fooling her was that easy, he was wrong. The itching in her fingers made it impossible for her to lie down again and go back to sleep. Instead, she moved even closer until her face was only inches apart from his. She knew Eliot hated to be watched by her that intently: one reason why she loved to do it in the first place. Somewhere along the line, he would always react the same way: she would earn a glare and a frustrated 'what', which she would shrug off with a grin in response.

It was just too easy to tease him. Parker suppressed a chuckle. There had been a time when she had managed to annoy him several times a day, either with a comment or with something she had done, or just with the fact that she would sit right next to him although there was more than enough space on the couch. Those moments of frustration seemed to have lessened lately: either she had become less annoying or he had become more tolerant. Either way, she couldn't help herself at times. Moments like this just screamed for actions.

Unfortunately, the staring contest didn't seem to work. Sighing softly, she moved her lips to his ear.

"Eliot, are you awake?" she whispered. Nothing. Glaring at him, she brought her hand to his face. If he wanted the hard way, he could get it. She hesitated for another brief moment before she poked him into the cheek. And again. And again.

"Parker," he growled eventually. "Stop the damn poking!"

A giggle escaped her as a satisfied grin spread across her face. "I knew you were awake!"

"And if I hadn't been, you'd have woken me up by now." Sighing deeply, he opened his eyes and gazed up at her. "Besides, didn't I tell you to stop that poking? It's really annoying."

"But you like when I'm annoying you," Parker stated.

"Not really," Eliot replied. She could see he was struggling with the urge to smile as well though. But before she got a chance to reply, he added, "Did you sleep well?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Very well. I even dreamt something. Forgot what though. It was kinda strange. Didn't make any sense."

He chuckled. "Would've loved to know what kind of dream doesn't make sense to you." His hand, which had still been resting on her back until now, left its place and moved up to her face then. She barely noticed how he wiped away a loose curl. Too focused she was on the way Eliot was studying her. Parker had noticed this expression more than once, especially since their conversation at the bar a couple of days ago, and even more last night, after they had arrived at his house. Right before they had kissed for the first time. It was an expression that caused a strange warmth deep within her, and made her shudder at the same time. Both feelings were enjoyable though. Parker couldn't help but wonder if she was capable of making him experience those weird sensations as well with just looks and touches.

"Are we together now? Like a couple?" she blurted out before she knew what she was doing. She could feel her cheeks heating up softly at the surprised look he gave her in response.

"Well, do you want us to be together?" he asked back.

Parker glared at him. "Hey, it's not fair to answer a question with another one!"

"Fine." Sighing lightly, Eliot pulled her closer. "So, you want to know if we're a couple? I don't know. That's why I'm asking you if that's what you want. To be together."

She shrugged. "Well, wouldn't that be logical? I mean, after all, we like each other quite a lot, and we kissed, three times even, and you let me sleep in your bed."

"Yeah, that's really a lot of reasons indeed." His smile softened as he ran a hand through her messed up hair. "And looks like you just gave yourself the answer for your question then."

"So we are?"

"I guess so," he replied. He paused before he added, "Do you like the idea of that? Of being together with me?"

This time, Parker didn't hesitate. She nodded. "It feels nice I think," she said. "At least it doesn't hurt anymore."

"And that's all that matters," Eliot answered.

It was her turn to study him in silence. Yes, to her, being together did make sense. After all, how much more did people have to feel for each other before they decided to become a couple? She had already figured out that she had fallen in love with him, and she knew he was feeling the same way. A smirk lit her face as another thought found its way into her mind then.

"I want to steal another kiss," she said.

He grinned. "I already told you they're for free. No need to steal them. Or ask for them."

"But stealing them is more fun," Parker stated. Closing her eyes, she leant in until her lips met his. Like the night before, she could feel the delicious shivers again that were running up and down her spine as he kissed her back. Kissing Eliot was so different to kissing those two guys from the past. It made things around her seem to be miles away all of the sudden. It caused a strange and very enjoyable heat deep within her that was slowly increasing with every passing second. To sum it up, kissing him was addictive.

By the time they broke apart again, she felt so dizzy that she almost missed the growling, coming from her stomach.

"Someone's hungry," she heard Eliot whisper into her ear. "You'd like me to make you some breakfast?"

"You got cereals here?" Parker asked back, shaking her head to clear her mind. She fairly doubted any drugs available could make her mind spin the way just one kiss could.

He chuckled again. "No, no cereals for you. You're going to have some real breakfast." He kissed her again, this time onto the cheek. "I'll come up with something good, you'll see."

And before Parker could reply, he had already left the bedroom. Shaking her head at herself, she let herself fall back against the pillows. Another strange feeling started to bubble deep within her then, and released in form of a giggle. For way too long, she had been hurting whenever she had been around him, had seen him, had talked to him. She hadn't understood where this pain had come from, until she had realised that she had fallen in love with him, and this seemingly unrequited love had made her feel that upset. Now, a date and a few kisses later, the pain was gone, and only the longing for closeness, which was just as new and strange to her, had stayed.

Another feeling had joined though, had replaced the pain, and this one, she knew. She had felt it many times before, whenever she had stolen something especially shiny. She was happy.

* * *

By the time Parker left the bedroom, the entire house already smelled deliciously, and she was glad that Eliot had insisted on making her something decent. Seeing the house lit by sunshine now was another lovely experience. It seemed to be even prettier than it had the previous night. No, no one would go looking for him out here, in such a lovely place.

"What are you making?" she wanted to know as she made her way through the living room.

"What does it smell like?" he asked back.

Parker stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Pancakes?" she suggested.

"Maybe?" Eliot turned around to her, just to raise his eyebrows. "Why aren't you dressed yet?"

"You're still in your sleeping clothes, too." She shook her head at him.

"Yeah, but..." Sighing, he stared back at her for a moment before he turned back to the stove. "Get dressed already. I'm almost done here."

But something else had already caught her attention. Quickly, she made her way across the living room until she reached the large glass door that led into the backyard.

"Parker, what did I tell you? Don't go out!" Eliot shouted after her, but she didn't listen. A warm breeze greeted her as she stepped onto the back porch. Out here, the air smelled so different to how it did in the city. It seemed to be fresher, in a very enjoyable way.

"Like taking care of a toddler," she heard Eliot mumble from inside the house, making her chuckle. Taking another deep breath, she stepped into the grass, shuddering as her bare feet got in contact with it.

"I told you to stay inside, didn't I?" he asked her as he joined her outside.

"The grass is wet," she replied, her smile widening as she looked downwards.

"Yeah, that often happens in the morning." Sighing deeply, he stepped beside her. "Parker, even though this is a quiet area out here, I still have neighbours. And I don't think they should see you running around here like that."

"Like what?" Parker looked up questioningly.

"Like...that." Eliot shook his head at her. "You can't run around outside without your pants on, okay?"

"But I am wearing pants!"

"Panties, Parker! That's not the same."

She just shrugged in response. "I don't mind. Can we have breakfast out here? It's so nice!"

"Only if you go inside and get dressed," he told her firmly. "And for the record, you don't show off your bare butt in public."

"But it's not bare, I'm wearing panties," she replied.

"Go inside, Parker!" Eliot ordered, glaring at her in frustration.

Knowing that she was at the edge of really annoying him, Parker bit back any further comments and, with a playful glare of her own, did like she was told.

Half an hour later, the couple had returned to the backyard, with two plates full of pancakes this time. Sharing one of the large wooden chairs with Eliot, Parker happily munched on her breakfast. More and more, she was starting to understand his love for food. There was something oddly relaxing about it.

"Wait a minute," she said then, stopping mid-bite. "Are there apples in there?" As he nodded, she added, "From your apple trees?"

Eliot nodded again. "Thought I'd use the chance to make you eat something decent for once. Are they good?"

"Are they good?" She rolled her eyes at him. "They're perfect. Like everything you cook." She watched him as he set his empty plate aside. "You're done already? You should eat some more. They're really good!"

"It's enough for now," he answered, but Parker shook her head.

"No, eat some more." She rolled up one of her pancakes and offered it to him. "Here, have one of mine."

"No, it's yours."

"Come on, just take a bite."

"Parker, no!" He groaned. "Stop that, okay? Just because you're my girlfriend now doesn't mean I won't get mad at you."

"Girlfriend." She couldn't help but grin as she repeated the word. "See? I'm your girlfriend, so I have to take care of your eating habits. Make sure you eat enough good stuff."

Eliot raised his eyebrows at her in response. "Are you for real?" he asked disbelieving. "It's not me who's eating cereal all day. Now finish."

It was her turn to sigh. "No, I'm full." Her plate joined his on the table next to them. "I'm going to burst if I eat one more bite." She turned around to face him. "Can you show me around your backyard now? Show me where you grow your food?"

He gave her a suspicious look. "And that interests you?"

"Of course it does." Placing a quick kiss onto his cheek, Parker got up. She made her way over to the nearest tree. "Is that where you got the apples for the pancakes from, yeah?"

Following her, he nodded. "Yeah, they're from one of the trees."

Narrowing her eyes, Parker examined the apples. "They look different than those from the stores though. Less shiny."

"That's because no one would buy apples that aren't shiny or perfectly formed," Eliot explained as he stepped next to her.

"Oh, I would." Gently, she took one of the apples into her hand. "It's not its fault that it's not as shiny as the others. But still it wants to be eaten, too, even if it's not perfect."

"You'd like to try one?" he wanted to know, trying to hide the amusement in his voice.

"May I?"

"Go ahead."

Smiling excitedly, Parker ripped the apple, which she had been holding, off. She examined it once more before she took a large bite. Her face froze instantly.

"How are they?" Eliot asked, this time failing at hiding the undertone in his voice.

"Sour," she mumbled, shuddering. "Very sour. But still good."

He stepped closer. "You don't have to eat it if it's too sour for you."

"You kidding me?" She hid the apple behind her back. "It's mine and I'll eat it. It's not the apple's fault that it's so sour. It's yours because you didn't tell me beforehand."

"Yeah, bad me," he sighed playfully. "Alright, you want to see where I grow my other food?"

Parker nodded firmly. Swallowing down the piece of apple, she asked, "You also get your own meat?"

She received the disbelieving look she knew only too well from him. "You see a cattle herd anywhere, Parker? Or pigs?"

Parker just shrugged. "You never know. It's a huge backyard." She grinned as he rolled his eyes and followed him. He led her to a rather large field, surrounded by even more apple trees, where she could see various different plants growing.

"Oh, I know what this is!" she exclaimed as she knelt down. "Those are carrots, right? At least that green stuff that's on top of them when you see them at the stores." Carefully, she pulled at the green leaves. A broad smile lit her face as she spotted the familiar orange vegetable. "I was right!"

"Yeah, you were." Eliot knelt down beside her. "You recognize the others, too?"

Parker stared in concentration. "What are those flowers here?" she wanted to know, pointing at the plants in question.

His smile widened. "Those are potatoes."

"What?" Her eyes widened in surprise. "Those are flowers! Where are the potatoes?" She watched as he brushed away enough soil for her to see them. Her cheeks reddened softly. "Oh, there they are." She paused as she stared at the plant in front of her. "You think I'm silly because I didn't know that, right?"

"Why should I?" He looked up in surprise. "It's not like everyone immediately knows those are potatoes. Most people don't recognize them." He offered an encouraging smile. "You know what? Back in the days when people found out about them for the first time, they even ate the flowers here. Made them feel pretty sick. People needed quite a while until they realised what's actually eatable and what's not."

Parker nodded slowly. She knew he didn't think she was stupid, but she couldn't deny that while she didn't care most of the time what people thought of her, she still had her moments when she felt stupid herself. Unlike the others, she had been to school just long enough to learn how to write and count. Everything else, she had learnt through experience or books. She knew she had missed a lot due to not going to highschool, even though she was an expert when it came to handling numbers and no one could do her job better than her. So far, no team member had given her the feeling that she was stupid though, and had patiently explained to her what she didn't know or didn't understand.

"What about this one?" she asked then, getting up again. She made a disgusted face as she added, "Are those beans?" Just the thought made her shudder. She would never understand how anyone could like beans.

"No, no beans." Stepping next to her, Eliot ripped one of the long, green objects off. "Those are peas."

"Peas?"

He nodded. "Yeah. In a pod. Like the saying." He handed it to her. Carefully, she examined it with her fingers.

"I can feel them," she answered, smiling.

Eliot nodded again. "Open it. You can taste them." At her suspicious look, he added, "Trust me. They're not sour like the apples."

Still with a raised eyebrow, she pealed the pod open. Inside, she found tiny, green peas, neatly arranged next to each other. Hesitantly, she took one and stuck it into her mouth.

"Now what does that taste like?" he wanted to know.

Parker's eyes widened. "They're sweet! Really sweet. Not like normal peas. Much better!"

"Those are normal peas, Parker." He chuckled. "They're just younger, that's all."

"And tastier." Freeing another pea from the pod, she sat down in the now dry grass. With closed eyes, she enjoyed the unexpected taste of those vegetables she usually disliked so much. Once again, she felt a strange rush of warmth, which increased as she felt that Eliot sat down across of her, studying her closely as she ate. When she opened her eyes again, she found him looking at her with the same expression she had seen in his eyes earlier in bed. The warmth deep within her got even stronger, slowly starting to spread into every inch of her body. It was soon joined by the tickling sensation of happiness which she had experienced earlier as well.

"I like your house," she said then. "I see why it feels like home to you."

"You know, you can come around whenever you want to," he stated. The tone of his voice had changed, but again it wasn't unfamiliar to her. He was using it often lately, especially when he was trying to reach out to her. Like when he had asked her what had been bothering her at the bar. Or when he had invited her for dinner. Or when he had told her that it was her who was setting the pace in their relationship.

It was a voice that didn't know any boundaries, any walls. It went straight to her heart, and even if she had wanted to, she wouldn't have been able to prevent it from doing so. It had a strong effect on her. Before she could stop herself or even question her actions, she had already jumped forward and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. Unlike usually, she didn't let go again immediately though. Hugs had become okay somewhere along the line to her, as long as they didn't last too long and were started by her. Her hugs would be unexpected and strong, but also short.

This time though, she didn't want to let go. Something inside her was screaming at her, trying to tell her that looks weren't enough, and touches weren't either. She wanted to feel more, wanted to be held. And holding her he did. Not for a second, he tensed at the unexpected attack. Instead, his arms wrapped around her in a tight embrace.

And this time, with him, she didn't feel the familiar, overwhelming urge to flee, to back off and get herself into safe distance to the person in front of her before they could get too close. Because he was already closer than anyone else she had ever met. He had found his way into her heart. There was no way to get any closer anyway.

"Are hugs for free, too?" Parker whispered, squeezing her eyes shut as she gave in to the cocktail of feelings that was bubbling deep within her.

"Of course they are," Eliot answered quietly. "Everything you get from me is."

Parker only nodded in response. She knew she was drifting off, giving in to feelings she would have never dared to imagine not too long ago. Since the beginning, she had trusted in him, knowing he would protect them. By now, when he held her, she seemed to experience a whole new kind of safety. Parker couldn't explain what exactly she was feeling, but she knew she was longing for it, for much longer than she knew. And even though she was still scared in some ways, she would give herself what she wanted. Because she trusted in him, and she had learnt that while there was a lot she could control, feelings didn't fall under this category at all.

She couldn't tell how long she allowed him to hold her like that. She didn't care that her cheeks had flushed softly as she pulled back again. Parker stared at the grass between them for a while until she was able to make eye contact with Eliot again. Something in his eyes had changed since she had last looked into them, but said change only encouraged her even more that she didn't have to be afraid anymore.

"This is not how you usually do relationships, right?" she asked then, not sure where this question was coming from.

He shook his head. "No, not really. It's different with you though."

"Why?" she wanted to know.

Eliot shrugged. "That's quite simple. Those other women you saw me hook up with over the years...they meant nothing to me. It was just...well, for fun, you know? To feel good. A good way to get distracted, to get some distance to the job. But without any boundaries. I'd meet the women, play whatever role would come to my mind so they wouldn't figure out too much about me. I'd have some fun with them, they'd make me relax and feel good. I'd meet them a few more times maybe, and that'd be it." He paused. "I thought it'd be easier that way. They wouldn't know me. I wouldn't know them. It wouldn't hurt afterwards."

"And now it's different?"

"Very much, yeah." It was his turn to offer a hesitant smile. She found it strange to see him that way: hesitant, unsure even. He didn't know how to explain himself: a feeling she knew only too well.

"The thing with you..." he started after another pause. "It can't be compared to that at all. You've always meant a lot to me, even when you were still just a friend. You were fantastic at driving me crazy and annoying me like hell, but...well, I liked you right from the beginning. I cared for you. More and more with the time. And when I started to fall for you...Like I said, I never had any feelings for those women. Not at all. It was all just for fun. For feeling good. I have feelings for you though. Pretty strong ones even. That's why this here is so different to what I did in the past. I want us to work, you know? I want this relationship to work."

Parker nodded slowly. He was still talking in that voice, but this time, at least so she believed, it was the speech itself that touched her. He really wanted to be together with her: even she understood that. This coming from a man who was used to being alone meant a lot. It meant as much as a decent hug, coming from her.

"Aren't you afraid I could hurt you?" she couldn't help but ask then.

Eliot smiled again. "No, Parker, I'm not. 'Cause you're not that way. You're crazy and you can be one hell of an annoying woman, but you'd never intentionally break anyone's heart."

"And unintentionally?"

He sighed. "Who says I won't hurt you instead?"

"You wouldn't." Parker shook her head. "I know you'd never hurt me in any way."

"And unintentionally?" he repeated her words with a wink.

She chuckled. "Fine." Once again, she stared ahead, for a moment simply allowing herself to enjoy those new feelings, and this new kind of certitude. She had found something she had never believed she was even looking for, in a man who understood her issues with trusting, with letting people in, because he was dealing with them himself. Was understanding the key to them working as a couple? Or their trust in each other? Or was it as simple as one single feeling: love? She couldn't tell, and for once, she didn't care.

"It's crazy, isn't it?" she asked then. "You and me, being a real couple. Like Nate and Sophie. Just without the wedding stuff. And kinda differently." She raised an eyebrow. "Wait, that doesn't make any sense."

Eliot smirked. "I think it does make sense." Reaching out, he took one of her hands into his. "Now what would you like to do next? Want to get some more peas? Or eat the rest of your pancakes?"

"Yes to both." Parker nodded in response, allowing Eliot to help her up. More words weren't needed, at least not right now. Not too long ago, she had been struggling with the side effects of love, not understanding how this feeling worked in the first place, and why one would enjoy it. Now she understood, and even though she still didn't know how exactly it would feel like to be in a relationship, even though she wasn't completely in control for once, she was more than willing to make the step. Because he was right with what he had told her back at the bar: it was worth it. Especially when the feelings were mutual.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.  
**Author's note:** Thank you so much for the sweet reviews again! Here, accept some virtual hugs! :D And...here's more.

* * *

**Chapter 4:**

They had spent another few hours at the house, and looking back, Eliot couldn't really tell what they had been doing during that time. He had explained some more vegetables and fruits to Parker, who had gotten overly excited as she had seen that he was also growing his own strawberries. For minutes, she hadn't been able to get over the fact of how tiny those still were.

He had also shown her around inside the house again after they had sat in the backyard. But why exactly they had needed hours for all that was a mystery to him. Being around Parker had been exhausting in the past, when she had still spent most of the time with getting on his nerves.

Then, after a short period of things being relatively normal, being around her had gotten complicated, because he had figured out that somewhere along the line, he had gotten to the point where he liked her a little too much, despite his best intentions.

Now, things had changed once more, and for the first time really, he was able to enjoy her company, in a way he would have never dared to imagine. She was still crazy, still exhausting. But, even more important, there was something else now, too.

She belonged to him. Realisation had hit him several times during this morning. Parker wanted to be together with him. It had been her who had brought up the question whether or not they were a couple. Eliot couldn't deny he had felt a little guilty because he had played the ball right back to her and had her answer the question for them. Eventually, she had said what he had hoped to hear though. She wanted this, as much as him. With everything that came with being in a relationship.

Around noon, they had agreed to go to the headquarters, like they usually did. Whether or not they would share the news that they had eventually gotten together had come up necessarily. Parker hadn't really cared, although she had made clear that she didn't like the idea of stepping in front of the team and officially announcing what was still so new to her. Eventually, they had agreed that neither of them had to explain anything to anyone. They wouldn't have to make an official announcement; the team would find out sooner or later through their behaviour. Then they would just have to answer questions. Those they could handle.

"Come on, Parker, it's time to go," Eliot reminded her for what had to be the tenth time. Standing on the front porch with crossed arms, he waited for his girlfriend to finally show up. She did, and he resisted the urge to comment on the fact that she must have sneaked into his bedroom once more to replace her own button down shirt with one of his to wear in addition to her top. He turned to leave as she approached him, just to realise that she stopped in the doorway and didn't show any interest in following him.

"Parker!" He sighed. "What's wrong now?"

"I don't want to go." Much to his surprise, she made an unhappy face. "I like your house. I don't want to leave."

"Oh boy." Eliot released another sigh as he returned to her. "Listen, remember what I told you earlier? I was serious when I said you can come back whenever you like. And as often as you like."

"You sure?" She still didn't look convinced.

"Yeah." He nodded to emphasize his words. "I promise."

A tiny, almost shy smile lit her face as she added, "And can we come back later? After we've been at Nate's?"

"I don't see why we shouldn't?"

"Promise?" She did it again: giving him this look, and once more, he couldn't help but wonder whether or not she was doing it on purpose.

"I promise," he answered. "Promise. Now come on."

Much to his relief, a broad smile lit Parker's face. "Fine." She skipped down the few stairs that led up to the front porch. "Bye-bye, house! I'll see you later." Waiting for him, she linked her arm with his. "Oh, and bye-bye, apple trees. It's really not your fault you taste so horribly sour."

Raising his eyebrows at her, Eliot resisted the urge to groan. Taking care of a child couldn't be more exhausting. "Why don't you go back and say goodbye to the peas and potatoes as well?"

"Oh, that's a good idea." Parker's smile widened even more.

"Oh goodness, get into the car." He rolled his eyes as she giggled, did like she was told though. With a comfortable sigh, she sank into the passenger's seat.

"Your house is so sweet," she told him, once again looking back. "Just like you."

He looked up. "I'm not sweet."

"Oh yes, you totally are," she said, pinching his cheek. At the look she received in return, she chuckled. "Never do that again, Parker, right?"

"Exactly." Sighing once more, Eliot shook his head at her. He had to bite his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling as well though. Yes, she was crazy. The craziest woman he had ever met. But he had come to a point where he couldn't care less.

* * *

By the time they arrived at Nate's place, Parker had gone through several different phases. Right after they had headed off towards the city of Boston, she had been unusually quiet, and Eliot couldn't help but wonder if she had indeed been upset by the idea of leaving his house behind. How exactly she had gotten attached to it that quickly was a question he didn't find an answer for. Then, as she had finally gotten over this strange mood, she had started to chat again, about whatever had come to her mind or whatever had caught her attention first.

"You think the others are up already?" she wanted to know as he let them both into Nate's apartment.

"It's noon, so I guess so," he stated. Before he could say more though, she had already grabbed his face and pressed a quick, hard kiss onto his lips. Said kiss was followed by an equally fast and hard hug.

"What was that for?" Eliot couldn't help but ask. So far, he hadn't figured out what exactly was causing Parker's outbursts of affection. Usually, they happened at moments that didn't really make sense to him, at least during those few hours they were an official couple now. Except that one time in his backyard.

"Just because you're sweet," she said with a smile before she hurried inside. Eliot had barely heard her answer though. His thoughts had already drifted off to said moment in his backyard again. It had been him who had done most of the talking, and, much to his own surprise, he hadn't really had a problem with answering her questions.

Why did he start their relationship in such a different way to how he usually did? And wasn't he afraid of getting hurt? He had been honest when he had assured her that he was convinced she wasn't a threat to his heart. Because she simply wasn't that way. It was true: Parker was exhausting, she was strange and she had a major problem with interacting with people. In fact, one could easily believe that she would push him away if he got too close and frightened her with that.

This fact was one reason why he didn't want to rush things. He didn't want her to believe that she had to flee to protect herself from feelings that scared her. She would have to adjust to them slowly, in a pace she would set. Then she wouldn't need to flee, and he wouldn't lose her.

No, Parker wouldn't break his heart. Most likely, she wouldn't even know how to do so in the first place. She wouldn't flirt with other men, wouldn't just have enough of him for whatever reason. She was different, and he knew: as soon as he had earned her trust completely, he could be sure that she would stay by his side.

She was allowed to know that he cared for her deeply, and really wanted them to work. Because he knew she wouldn't use this information against him to get what she wanted, because she wouldn't backfire his words at him to hurt him. And as he had been talking, he had seen in her eyes that he couldn't have made a better decision. She had believed him, and her actions had proven that. Whatever they had was complicated and nothing like the meaningless, cold hook ups he had had during the last couple of years. But it was a welcome change, and as complicated as things with her would be, he was looking forward to this challenge.

"Finally." Hardison's sigh interrupted Eliot in his thoughts. Shaking his head to clear his mind, he realised his friend was watching him from the couch. Parker had taken over the other empty half of said couch. "I already thought I'm going to stay alone down here for the rest of the day, man! Might have had to make myself some lunch even, if I hadn't wanted to starve."

"Yeah, and that'd have been a horrible thing to do, huh?" Eliot rolled his eyes at the hacker. As if Hardison needed more than his gummy frogs and soda. He couldn't deny he liked the fact that the team depended on his cooking skills so much by now though. They rather had him cook than order something or do it themselves. It was a compliment, even though he would never admit that. "Where are Nate and Sophie?"

"Still upstairs I guess," Hardison answered, turning back to his beloved large screens.

"And do they know you're here?" Eliot asked back, making his way into the kitchen, satisfied noticing that no one had created a mess in there since he had left it be the day before.

"I hope so." He could almost hear Hardison shudder as he added, "You don't think they'll just come downstairs all naked or something?"

"You think they're having sex up there?" Parker wanted to know.

"That's nothing we want to think about right now, Parker," Eliot answered, smirking at the noise Hardison made in response to her question.

"Why not?" she asked back. "I mean, it's normal, right? It's what couples do."

Eliot didn't bother to answer this time. Yes, it was something couples did. At least most of them. And it was one reason why he was wondering how he was supposed to handle her current obsession with spontaneous hugs and kisses, if she stayed interested in said obsession. Or sharing a bed with her. He had decided to wait and let her make the first step. He wanted her to decide when she wanted them to get yet another step further in their relationship. But his patience would be tested if she continued jumping at him whenever she felt like it, or running around in just his shirt, not understanding why he wanted her to stay dressed properly.

Sighing lightly, he shook his head at himself as he opened the fridge. The things he was doing for her, and the worst was that he didn't even have a problem with that in the first place. As much as he loved to be around her now that the feelings part was taken care of, this other certain part in their relationship could easily turn into torture for him.

"What are you playing?" Parker asked then, and Eliot was glad she had obviously moved on from the sex topic. "Is that one of your weird games again?"

"It's not weird, Parker," Hardison sighed. "It's a famous computer game. A lot of people all over the world are playing it."

"I don't get why there are no normal people in there though," she complained. "Like us."

"Oh, come on, it's not like we're normal either," Hardison stated.

"But we don't look like trolls."

"That's no troll, Parker. It's an orc."

"Fine, an orc then." She sighed. "But...who wants to look ugly like that? Why are there no normal people in that game?"

"'Cause it's fantasy," Hardison explained, still in a surprisingly calm voice. Eliot resisted the urge to laugh. Their friend would never get tired of explaining his beloved computer world to Parker, although it was obvious that she would never understand his obsession with it. "Besides, I'm not playing other games around you guys anymore, 'cause I'm tired of your comments, you know? Whenever I play Grand Theft Auto, you complain that car stealing doesn't work that way. And whenever I play war games, Eliot complains that real war isn't that way."

"Because it's not," Eliot replied, biting back another grin. It was so easy to drive Hardison crazy: payback for all the times he was being annoying with either his geeky stuff or his ego. "In a real fight, you can't just reset the game and start from the beginning if you fucked up."

"It's a damn game, man!" Hardison shouted back. "They're as true to reality as they can be!"

"If you say so," Eliot answered, unable to hold back a chuckle. Blinding out the rest of the conversation on the couch, he turned back to the food. There was a lot more he could have added, but he knew when to stop. Even though they couldn't be more different from each other, Eliot considered Hardison as one of his closest friends, along with Nate, even though he would never openly admit it. Bantering like that was part of their friendship, but both had learnt not to cross certain lines. Respect was important, and that would never change.

He couldn't focus on cooking for more than a few minutes though as he heard soft footsteps approaching. He could feel Parker's presence before she had even entered the kitchen area. By the time she had made her way past the kitchen counter, he could feel an all too familiar tension building inside him. It was amazing what an effect she could have on him, even if she didn't want to. He waited until she had stepped next to him, staring at him in this intent way he knew only too well.

"What is it, Parker?" Eliot wanted to know, finally looking up. "You want something?" The expression in her eyes made him shudder. It was a new one, which he had seen a couple of times lately, but which he couldn't really place yet. There was something strangely intimate about it though. As she nodded, he added, "What?"

"I'd like a hug," she stated, so quietly he could barely hear her. He couldn't help but smile at her request: only Parker would make such a big deal out of asking for a simple embrace.

"Come here," he said.

Like expected, she threw herself into his arms, hers wrapping firmly around his waist as she snuggled into his chest. He held her close, for a couple of moments allowing himself to enjoy the sensation of the warmth this closeness was creating deep within him. Parker, the woman who hurt people that touched her and who had a major problem with letting others get close to her, was asking him for hugs. Eliot himself wasn't much into such things either. Not at all. People getting into his personal space had always been complicated, as he had learnt to keep a safe distance to them if he didn't want to get into serious trouble. Also, he had learnt a long time ago that there were more intimate things than sex. Holding someone close like that counted to them. Intimacy came with feelings, and those he had avoided on all costs during the last couple of years.

What caught his attention then was the way she relaxed as soon as his arms closed around her. There was a tension in her body most of the time, caused by the instinct to always be prepared, always be ready to flee if needed. Said tension was completely gone now. Every inch of her seemed to have relaxed.

By the time she loosened her grip around his waist, Eliot had given in so much to the unexpected closeness between them that he needed a second to return to the present. He found Parker glancing up at him. A tiny smirk lit her face as she said, "And a kiss."

"You're still asking for them?" he asked back, leaning in to give her what she had asked for. He couldn't prevent himself from shuddering as she kissed him back, more firmly than she had earlier, back at his house. Finding out in how many more different ways she could kiss him would be interesting.

"Hey Parker, I thought you wanted to play with me!" Hardison shouted then, interrupting the almost overwhelming sensation of the kiss. By the time he turned around to the couple, they had already parted again.

"I promised not to complain that this car stealing game is totally silly," she whispered with a wink. "Makes him happy." She peeked at the stove. "Is lunch almost ready?"

"Not if you keep on distracting me," Eliot answered with a wink. He watched her as she headed back to the couch, where Hardison was impatiently waiting for her return.

"You got some coffee for me?"

Startled by the question, Eliot spun around, just to find Nate leaning against the kitchen counter now, watching him with an interested expression.

"Where the hell are you coming from?" he couldn't help but ask.

"Upstairs," was Nate's short answer. He made his way further into the kitchen, throwing a short glance at the pan on the stove. "I have to admit I didn't think I'd see the day when someone could enter a room without you being aware of it. Then again, we've all been lost in our thoughts before, and kisses can be rather distracting." He smiled. "Congrats. I was already wondering when the two of you would make that step."

"What?" Giving the mastermind a disbelieving look, Eliot shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

"You and Parker," Nate answered. "It was just a question of time."

"There's no way you could've seen that coming," Eliot stated. "Even I didn't."

Nate nodded. "Yeah, and that's normal when you're directly involved. Things always look a little different to those watching from the outside." Sitting at the kitchen counter now, he folded his hands in front of him, watching Eliot with this investigating look he always used on either them, their clients or their marks. "So? What's it like for you to be in a serious relationship again?"

Raising his eyebrows suspiciously, Eliot stared back at his friend. All of them silently agreed that he was something like a father figure for them. He was the mastermind, the one who would find a way out for them, even if he went a little too far at time or risked too much. He understood people in a way that could be scary at times, and knew how to manipulate and control them, in an even scarier way. He deeply cared for them, for each and every member of his team. Eliot had learnt that he could completely trust in Nate, could completely rely on him in every possible situation. What bothered him though was the fact that he couldn't read the other man's mind, and very often didn't know what he was really up to when doing or saying something. Now was one of those moments.

"Do you really want to know that?" he decided to ask then. "Or is this just your way to ask me if I'm serious about her? Some kind of 'don't break my little girl's heart' thing? Don't worry, Nate. I want her and me to work. I really want that. I mean, we didn't even..."

His voice trailed off. Nate was having this effect on people: he made them talk, to the point where they eventually said too much at times. Even he wasn't completely safe of whatever trick the other man used to make that happen.

Nate shrugged in response. "Well, whether my intention was the first or the second, you answered whatever question I might have had." His smile returned. "It's interesting, isn't it? How you start to develop feelings for someone although you don't intend to. It just happens."

"Nate, I don't think I want to talk about my relationship, okay?" Eliot replied. Briefly, he thought about turning back to making lunch. Something in Nate's look prevented him from doing that though.

"Starting a new relationship isn't easy," Nate continued, ignoring the request. "Especially when it's a serious one and you haven't experienced that for a while."

Eliot sighed. "Nate, I don't have any questions, or anything to talk about, if that's what you mean. Just drop it, will you?"

"Are you sure?" Nate asked back.

And he did it again. "Stop it!" Eliot groaned. "Don't manipulate me. That's what you do with the marks, not with the team, okay?"

"Oh, I'm not manipulating you," Nate stated calmly. "But I know you, and I know Parker. It's not like the two of you are jumping into an ordinary relationship. It's a little more complicated like that, isn't it?"

"Of course it's not normal. This is Parker after all." Eliot sighed once more. He knew Nate wouldn't back off, and unless he wanted to be the victim of even more tricks of the mastermind, he could just go with it. "I've never met someone who's got bigger issues with trusting and letting people in. It's one step after the other with her. I'm letting her set the pace. I don't want to scare her away after all. But I don't mind to do it that way, you know. Like I said, I want this work. So far, that seems to be working quite well."

Nate nodded slowly. "But?"

"There's no 'but'," Eliot answered. A tiny smile lit his face as he added, "It's quite interesting with her. I mean, you can't just predict what she'll do next. Like, I didn't expect her to develop some kind of...hug and kiss obsession." Once again, he raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Nothing." Nate's smile had widened into a grin. "I'm just wondering if you're aware of how serious this relationship really is already."

"What do you mean?"

Nate leant in a little more. "The two of you arrived together, didn't you? So I assume you spent the night together?"

"I already said we didn't..." Eliot started, but Nate shook his head.

"That's not what I meant," he said. "So? The two of you were out last night?"

"Yeah," Eliot answered, not bothering to wonder why Nate knew about that, too. "She wanted to see my house then, and so I took her to my place. She stayed there for the night."

Nate nodded again. "See? We're talking about Parker here. The woman who didn't tell us where she really lives until we had to figure it out by ourselves to help her out. The woman who stabbed a guy with a fork because he got too close to her, and broke another guy's finger because he tried to do the same. The woman who doesn't trust anyone but herself and is overwhelmed by any kind of feelings because she never learnt to understand them. This woman went out for dinner with you. Then she went to your house with you, and stayed for the night. She wants you to hug her, she wants you to kiss her. She wants to be together with you, although all kinds of human relationships seem to freak her out and she already needed long enough to form friendships with us."

"What do you want to tell me with that, Nate?" Eliot asked quietly.

"I just want you to see what that means," Nate answered. "You're worried you could scare her away with going too fast or if you don't let her set the pace and be in control? You're far past this point already, Eliot. She's not a little girl anymore. She wouldn't have agreed to be with you if she didn't want that. And as naïve as she might be at times, she knows what a relationship is. Yet she's willing to try it. You don't have to earn her trust with letting her control the whole thing. You already have her trust. I don't see what you could do that could make her change her mind and run away."

"I know she wants to be with me, Nate," Eliot answered, struggling with his friend's unexpected honesty and the thoughts it brought with it. "And I know what all this means. But how can you be so sure?"

Nate got up. "Because when it comes to her, nothing says more 'I love you' than a hug and a kiss."

Eliot didn't reply this time. Instead, he finally managed to free himself of Nate's intense stare and turn back to making lunch. He relaxed as he could hear the sound of Sophie's shoes on the stairs as she came downstairs, knowing that Nate's attention would shift to his future wife now. Still the fact that he was finally alone didn't change that his friend's words had taken him by surprise. Were he and Parker really further in this relationship already than he had expected? Thoughts of how he had held her in his arms just minutes ago found their way back into his mind, and of the way she had relaxed when he had done so. Maybe, just maybe, Nate was right once again.

* * *

By the time Eliot and Parker arrived at the house again hours later, the entire team was aware of their relationship. Neither of them had shown much affection in front of the others: it wasn't their thing. Even Nate and Sophie weren't kissing straight in front of everyone, or constantly touching. For them, that was even less of an option.

Still, the team had figured it out. By now, they knew each other well enough to notice little changes in each other's behaviour. The two of them hadn't been an exception to that. Much to their relief, neither of their friends had made a big deal of that though, although their wish to do so that been rather obvious.

They were together. Period. Still, Eliot was glad as he could close the front door of his house behind him and Parker again, knowing that no curious glances would follow them out here. Back home, he had received more kisses from his girlfriend, and the question whether or not she would stay for the night again hadn't even come up.

As he returned to his bedroom though, dressed for the night, he found Parker, once again wearing his shirt, sitting in the middle of his bed, greeting him with an expression that confused him more than anything else she had come up with during the day. He thought he was used to her mood changes by now.

"Something wrong?" he asked her.

She didn't answer. Instead, Parker continued to stare back at him with this thoughtful, strange expression for another couple of moments. Then, she crawled over to where Eliot was standing at the bottom of his bed. Kneeling in front of him, she made eye contact once more before she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

And even the kiss was different. He had already noticed that they had noticeably heated up since their first one the night before. But the frustration he could feel now was definitely new.

"Parker, what's wrong?" Eliot asked once again as he pulled back eventually.

"Why's it always me kissing you first?" she wanted to know, almost whispering as she spoke. "And why do you always stop when it's getting good?"

"What?" He could only stare back at her in confusion, although a distant idea was finding its way into his mind.

"You never kiss me first," Parker answered, frustration now shining through in her eyes, too. "You always wait for me to make the first step. Is that because you said I was going to set the pace? Fine, but do I have to do all the work now? And even if I'm doing so, why do you always stop us? Every time when this heat starts to build inside me when we're kissing, you just make us stop!" She glared at him angrily. "Stop staring, answer finally!"

Eliot couldn't help but shrug. He hadn't been prepared for such an outburst. "Well, one step after the other, right? Doubt you want to rush things with that."

"Ugh, gosh!" She rolled her eyes. "That's too slow steps, Eliot! That's not what couples do!"

"No one said we have to do it like other couples," he replied.

"But I want to!" She was almost yelling by now. Grabbing the front of his shirt with her strong, little hands, she brought her face so close to his that only inches were separating them. "Stop being so stupidly sweet and stuff! It's nice of you not to push me, but...that's the total opposite!"

Once again, he could only stare at her. He needed another moment until realisation finally hit him. Parker was mad. At him. Because instead of going too fast and scaring her away with that, he was constantly slowing things down. Despite what she wanted obviously. He shuddered deliciously. Who would have seen that coming?

"Someone's getting frustrated, huh?" Eliot asked, resisting the urge to grin at her, unsure whether or not that would provoke her into slapping him.

"Yes!" she hissed between clenched teeth. "It's like you wave candy in front of someone and keep on pulling it out of their reach!"

This time, he couldn't hold back a slight smirk. Stepping closer, he rested his hands on her hips. This time, he didn't give her the usual second that would allow her to push him away and back off. He knew she didn't need it, and indeed, she willingly let him pull her closer. "I thought you believed that was blah stuff."

He received another glare in response. "That's because the guys sucked! And didn't I tell you already that I thought kissing wasn't blah either?"

Eliot's grin widened. He knew by now that she wasn't just mad at him. The expression in her eyes said more than words. It had changed, and what he could see was clearly lust. She wanted to try it again, obviously convinced that this attempt wouldn't turn out to be a waste of time like those previous two.

Lust. It was the side effect of being constantly around the person one was attracted to. He understood her frustration very well.

"So," he said, so quietly she could barely hear him. "And what if I won't make us stop next time? You sure you want that?" With those words, he let go of her hips and slowly allowed his hands to slide under her shirt. Ever so lightly, he allowed his fingertips to brush over her sensitive skin. Much to his delight, she shuddered, her eyes seemed to darken even more. His smirk returned as she nodded.

"Kiss me," he ordered. Never letting go of the front of his shirt, she leant in to kiss him once again. This time, Eliot pulled her flush against his body, holding her close, hands still under her shirt, caressing her warm skin. And once again, she didn't make any attempt at pulling back. Instead, she kissed him back, less frustrated but more hungrily this time.

Parker groaned in frustration as he broke the kiss once more. "You stopped again!" she hissed.

"Be patient." Eliot winked at her before he let his lips brush along her jawline, up to her ear. As he placed a trail of feather-light kisses down the length of her neck, she shuddered again and sighed softly.

"You like that?" he asked as he made eye contact with her again. At her nod, he added, "That's nothing yet." Eliot paused for another moment, just looking her into the eyes before he said, "You know, for the case you change your mind..."

"Just shut up finally," she interrupted him firmly.

And this time, Eliot didn't let her repeat her request. He pulled Parker into another heated kiss, knowing very well that there was no way that she would change her mind. Not tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.  
**Author's note:** So, I already tried the virtual hugs, how about some more? I'd also give you virtual kisses, but as I'm still having the flu, that might not be such a nice idea. ;) Anyway, thank you so much for the wonderful reviews again! Look, got a new chapter for you. :)

* * *

**Chapter 5:**

Once again, it was the warmth of the sunshine that woke Parker up the following morning. And, once again, the events from the previous night instantly found their way back into her mind. A broad grin lit her face as she moved, feeling how the softness of the blanket brushed over her exposed skin. Of course the sensation was absolutely nothing compared to the one of two skilled hands exploring every inch of her hours ago.

No, sex wasn't blah, at least not when done with the right person. Eliot had made her experience feelings she hadn't even believed existed. And satisfaction, in a way she had never dared to imagine. Keeping people on a safe distance was something Parker had been used to. It made things easier for her, because first, she didn't have to worry that she could get hurt and second, she didn't have to worry about getting too attached.

But who would have expected that letting someone get that close to her could be that enjoyable? Who would have expected that being touched could feel that nice? Snuggling further into the warm blanket, Parker mentally replayed the previous day and night, in all their great details.

They were together now. A real couple, like Nate and Sophie, just without the wedding stuff. It was a fascinating sensation. So was the way he made her feel when he held her, when he kissed her. She was experiencing a kind of safety that was entirely new to her then.

Yes, she felt safe. That was a great way to describe this feeling. When Eliot was holding her in his arms, Parker could relax, could give up her constant self control, could stop observing. She didn't have to watch her back, didn't have to worry about anything. Because she knew she was safe and could just let go, even if just for a few minutes.

How exactly he had managed to earn her trust like that was still a mystery to Parker. She didn't know what Eliot had done to earn this special, huge place in her heart. Never before, she had allowed herself to trust someone enough to let down that thick wall that would prevent her from getting into trouble, from getting hurt. Never before, she had allowed someone else to take care of her while she could just let go of the tension, that was so much part of her, for a little while.

Most likely, that was part of loving someone. Maybe she would ask Sophie about this sooner or later. Right now, she didn't want to waste time with wondering though. She felt safe, she felt well, and finally, Eliot had stopped being stubborn, too. Two nights ago, Parker had been glad to realise that he was allowing her to be in control, to set the pace. But when he simply hadn't responded to any of her attempts at moving them forward, she had gotten frustrated. Hugging and kissing wasn't enough: she had realised that throughout the day. She was curious. What would it be like to go further? The simple idea of that had caused an interesting feeling deep within her.

She wasn't good at flirting, or doing anything else that could make the man in front of her realise that yes, she was up to something, and yes, she wanted to try something more with him. She knew he had done it for her, because he didn't want her to feel rushed, and this fact warmed her heart: it was the proof that he was honest, that he meant what he was saying when telling her that he wanted them to work as a couple. It was a sweet gesture, and coming from him, it meant even more. But still Parker had gotten bored by the slow pace he was keeping up, despite her attempts.

Fortunately, he had understood now. Opening her eyes, Parker grinned even more. Eventually, she had gotten what she had wanted, and certainly, he had wanted that as well. Carefully, she inched closer, studying her boyfriend silently as she did so.

"Don't even think about poking me again."

Parker chuckled. "Why do you always pretend you're not awake yet?"

"Because I'm obviously stupid enough to believe you could go back to sleep." Looking up at her now, he smirked. "What's that grin about?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "I just feel like grinning. Feeling a little hyped up, too."

"When are you ever not hyped up?" Eliot pulled her closer. She shuddered as her bare skin got in contact with his. Said delicious feeling was quickly joined by another one. She was happy again. Because obviously, he had understood. She didn't want to do the whole work in their relationship on her own.

"So?" he asked, lazily running a hand up and down the length of her back. It made her shudder even more. Being touched could be so nice. "Did I promise too much?"

Parker shook her head. "I can see why you love having sex." She chuckled. "You know what it was like? Like jumping off the highest building in the world, and the lines catching you just in the very last second."

"Oh yeah?" His grin widened. She liked the look he was giving her. There was something interesting in it, and it made the already forming heat deep within her increase. "You ever tried that?"

"Well, I jumped off the second highest building in the world," she answered. "That was brilliant already. But not as good as last night."

"That's quite a big compliment, you know." Eliot ran a hand through her messed up hair before he guided her down to him and kissed her. The kiss wasn't as rough and passionate as those from the night before, but still it managed to heat her up from the inside even more. Kisses and hugs obviously weren't the only things one could get addicted to.

"Can we do it again?" she asked as they parted for a brief moment due to lack of oxygen.

"I was hoping you'd ask that," Eliot whispered back.

Once again, his lips returned to hers, his hands were back on her body, smoothly running over her heated skin as he pulled her on top of him. And, once again, Parker allowed herself to just give in and forget everything else around her. At least for a while.

* * *

When their relationship had started, Eliot had wondered how easy it would be to have Parker as his girlfriend. Or how complicated, to be more exact. Much to his surprise, the first weeks of being a couple had already answered a lot of questions, in an unexpected but good way.

Despite everything he had expected, being with her wasn't much more complicated than being with any other woman. Rather quickly, Eliot had realised that once more, Nate had been right. He had earned Parker's trust already. She was willingly letting him in, enjoying his company, and not once, she had given him the feeling that she felt like running away, like this new situation was scaring her.

Of course, both of them needed their time to get used to being in a serious relationship: for her, it was the first time, for him, it was the first one after a long while. Everything was new, everything was fresh. But nothing felt weird or awkward to either of them.

Most likely, that was due to the fact that he had reached a point where he had come to accept his girlfriend the way she was. Parker wasn't like other women. Not at all. Instead of going out for dinner, she wanted to sit in his backyard with him and watch the baby strawberries grow, or to do other things that didn't really make sense to him but seemed to entertain her. Eliot didn't have to buy her flowers or other gifts to show his feelings to her. She wanted hugs instead. Hugs that made her feel safe, that helped her to relax: she had revealed that one night, when she had already been half asleep. And sex wasn't about seducing each other, it was about giving in to those feelings they shared, of enjoying an intimate closeness neither of them could really get enough of anymore. To sum it up, she didn't like to play games, didn't have high expectations he had to meet to keep her around. Being with Parker was the most honest experience Eliot had ever had. Maybe that was the main reason why being with her wasn't complicated, although he couldn't deny it was quite weird at times. He knew that sooner or later, they might have their first fight over whatever topic, and he couldn't deny he was scared of how that would turn out. But at the moment, he didn't waste much time with thinking about that. Their relationship had started well, and nothing else mattered.

Fortunately, the team didn't make a big deal of their relationship either. Their friends had simply accepted it, without a silly comment that could have made things uncomfortable for them. Eliot couldn't deny he still wondered if maybe Nate had been right about this part as well. Did outsiders have a better view at what was really going on? Had the team been aware of their feelings for each other a long time before they had even noticed them?

This laid-back behaviour of their friends made being at Nate's apartment enjoyably easy. Which was a good thing, because due to the wedding that was ahead, the team spent a lot of time together, even outside their jobs.

"Ah, man, I just love this." Hardison sighed comfortably as he let himself fall into the stuffed chair next to the couch, beer bottle in hand. "Weekend, no job, a good game on a big screen. Could the day get any better?"

Nate and Eliot agreed with him. There were days when they barely found the time to sit down for more than a couple of minutes before the next job was already calling for their attention. Quiet moments like that were more than welcome, and although the three men couldn't be more different from each other, they agreed on one thing: who needed long and deep conversations if they could sit together and cheer for their team?

Just as they had made themselves comfortable in front of those screens that could be used for so much more than for work, fast footsteps, coming down the stairs that led up to Nate's bedroom, interrupted the comfortable silence. A brief moment later, Parker elegantly jumped over the back of the couch and let herself fall onto the empty seat between Eliot and Nate. Without a further word or explanation, she snuggled into her boyfriend's side as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders instinctively. He didn't have to see her face to know something was bothering her.

"What's the matter?" Eliot wanted to know.

Parker wiggled around so she could look up at him. Her expression said more than words. Yes, something was definitely bothering her.

"You said you'd always protect me, right?" she asked. "Even when it comes to Sophie?"

"Sophie?" He raised his eyebrows at her questioningly. "What did she do?"

Parker sighed deeply. "Remember when she asked me to be her bridesmaid? I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I agreed to that!"

Eliot knew the shock and concern in her eyes was real, but still, in this particular moment, he found it hard to keep a straight face. In fact, he had already wondered when Parker would regret agreeing to be Sophie's bridesmaid. Never been to a real wedding as a guest before, she had no idea what this job included.

"Well, you're just supposed to help her with the wedding stuff," Hardison said.

"Yes." Parker groaned. "All the damn wedding stuff! You...you can't imagine what's going on right now! She's scaring me! I can't do this!" She turned back to Eliot. "I can't! I can't do this."

"Why not?" he decided to ask, in an attempt to figure out what had gotten her to the point of leaving her friend upstairs and coming to him as if cops were chasing after her.

"Because...I'm not good at this at all!" She shook her head. "I mean, she's doing all this talking about what needs to be done. The location, the food, even the plates! And then there's the dresses. She has tons of books with wedding dresses in them! Tons! And she keeps on asking which ones I like best. I don't know which ones I like best! They're all just long and white! I don't see where the difference is! And the shoes! You should see the shoes. You could stab someone with those heels! I don't even know why women like shoes. They're just for walking, right? Just for walking. I don't know how a good shoe looks like, or a bad one! What am I supposed to say? 'Oh, this one really has pointy heels, you can certainly stab someone with them. Take these'?"

With huge eyes, she was staring up at him. Eliot could see that Hardison was close to losing control over himself and breaking out into laughter, while Nate was keeping up his poker face like usually, pretending that he wasn't even listening. This moment was one of many that reminded him of the fact that Parker wasn't at all like other women. Although Sophie had tried her best, she still refused to understand why one would be interested in dresses and shoes. Diamonds? Money? Gold? Those were beautiful in Parker's eyes. But clothes? They were needed. Period. No need to talk about them any further. He could imagine her sitting in front of Sophie and her bridal magazines, freaked out by the questions which she couldn't answer, and although the urge to laugh was strong, he couldn't deny he felt sorry for her as well.

"Listen," he said then, hoping he would find the right words to calm his hyped up girlfriend down. "I doubt this is really about the dresses and shoes. And about giving her the right answers. Sophie knows you. She knows you don't know anything about that stuff."

"Then why did she pick me as her bridesmaid?"

"Because you're her best friend," Eliot answered. "She's going to get married, and I could imagine it's pretty exciting for her. She's nervous. She wants it to be perfect. Most women have their weddings planned out in their heads since they were little girls."

Parker snorted. "I didn't even have time for thinking about that as a little girl."

"Yeah, you didn't," he continued. "But she certainly did. You remember how invested she was in that wedding of the Mafioso's daughter? To her, a wedding and the party that goes with it are important, and she needs a friend by her side. Her best friend. Which is you. That's why she picked you. She doesn't really need the perfect answers from you. She just wants to have you by her side."

Parker nodded slowly. She stared back at him thoughtfully for a couple of moments before she asked, "But what am I supposed to answer when she asks questions? Like about the dresses?"

Eliot shrugged. "Well, can you imagine her in those dresses? Do you think they'd look good on her?"

"Oh yes." Parker nodded eagerly and a girlish smile lit her face. "She'd look like a princess in all of them!"

"See? That's a nice compliment," he told her. "You could say that for example. Then say that you can't really decide which one looks the best. And when it comes to the shoes...well, just nod and smile then. Like I said, it's not about what you actually say or do, and she doesn't need your advice either. After all, it's her wedding and you know how Sophie is. She'll decide what she wants eventually, no matter what others said earlier."

Parker nodded again. "Like Nate. He's also not listening to others because he wants to control everyone."

"You do know I'm still sitting here, Parker, don't you?" Nate wanted to know, for the first time since her arrival showing a reaction.

Parker ignored him. Instead, she smiled brightly, the concern finally disappearing from her eyes. "Thank you," she said, embracing Eliot tightly and rewarding him with a quick but intense kiss. Then she got up. "I think I'll get us some hot chocolate, to relax a little. Wedding stuff is really exhausting, and I want to be a good bridesmaid after all." She stopped midway to the kitchen. "Hey, aren't you guys doing any wedding stuff with Nate?"

"That's actually a good question," Hardison answered. "We should start planning as well."

"Planning what?" Eliot wanted to know. "The party? The ceremony? Guess that's what Sophie'll do. You better not mess with her plans."

"That's not what I was talking about, man," Hardison replied. "I mean, what about Nate's bachelor party?"

"Oh, I don't need something like that," Nate said. "Remember, I was married already."

But Hardison ignored him. "The standard thing to do is going to a strip club of course."

"I'm not going to a strip club," Eliot replied, with the hint of a smirk adding, "I got a girlfriend, remember? And I don't want to imagine what Sophie would do if we took Nate to one."

"Oh, come on, man!" Hardison shook his head at him. "It's a bachelor party after all! We can deal with Sophie, and I fairly doubt Parker would mind. Right, Parker?"

"Eliot's not going to a strip club," she shouted from the kitchen.

"And why not?"

"'Cause I don't want him to," she answered. "I'm the only woman he's allowed to see naked."

"Why?" Grinning, Hardison asked, "Are you jealous?"

"What? No." Parker glared at him. "I'm not jealous. I just don't want him to look at other naked women. He could think they're pretty. Prettier than me."

"That is jealousy!" Hardison shot back, staring at her in disbelief.

"It's not!"

"It is!"

"It's not at all!"

"It totally is, woman!"

"Okay, stop!" Groaning in frustration, Eliot shook his head at his arguing friends. He threw a short glare into Nate's direction, who was still behaving as if the topic had nothing to do with him at all. "Parker, you are jealous. And Hardison, I won't go to a strip club. Neither will you or Nate. Got it?" He gave Parker a warning look as she opened her mouth to argue with him now. Closing it again, she crossed her arms in front of her chest and headed back into the kitchen.

"Then what else are we supposed to do?" Hardison wanted to know. "Okay, maybe strip club isn't a good option when it comes to Nate anyway. A museum would fit better."

"A museum?" Finally participating in the conversation again, Nate looked up. "Is that what you see in me? A guy who rather goes to a museum than to a strip club?"

Hardison nodded. "Yeah, man. Exactly. But that'd be quite boring for a bachelor party. So which other options do we have? A bar maybe? Then again, Sophie would kill us if we got Nate drunk on purpose." He groaned. "Damn, man, can you maybe make a few suggestions? We're both his best men, remember?"

Eliot shrugged. "Well, he said he doesn't want a bachelor party. We could just stay here, drink a beer and watch a game."

Nate nodded. "That sounds good to me." With a long glance at Hardison, he added, "Better than a museum for sure."

"Are you guys for real?" Hardison exclaimed disbelieving. "That's a damn bachelor party, man! You can't just...do ordinary stuff then! It's supposed to be a big party before you tie the knot!"

"Hey, I got an idea," Parker, standing at the bottom of the stairs with two well-filled mugs now, interrupted. "Why isn't Hardison Sophie's bridesmaid? If he likes to organise so much?"

"What the..." Sitting up straight, Hardison stared at her. "'Cause I'm a man! Are you suggesting I'm like a girl? Is she suggesting that?" With a groan, he let himself fall back into his chair. "That damn wedding stuff."

Grinning like a girl, Parker headed upstairs while Nate turned his attention back to the game. Shaking his head in amusement, Eliot did the same, convinced that planning this wedding would definitely count to their harder jobs.

* * *

"Thank you, Parker, that was really needed," Sophie said as she took the mug of hot chocolate her bridesmaid was offering to her.

Satisfied with herself, Parker sat down across of her friend. Eliot's words had calmed her down immensely. She was just supposed to be a friend for Sophie. She didn't have to find the right answers for her questions. That, she could do. Or at least she could try.

"You know what?" Sophie asked then. "I think we spent enough time with looking at dresses and shoes. We should think about a good location instead."

"For the wedding?" Parker wanted to know. "I thought you wanted that big manor."

"Oh no, I'm talking about the honeymoon." Sophie's smile softened. "And for our first night as a married couple. It's a special one after all."

Parker raised her eyebrows questioningly. "What's so special about it?"

"Well, in the past, the night after the wedding would be when a couple would have sex for the first time," Sophie explained. "Nowadays, that's not really the case anymore, most of the time at least. But it's still special, because like I said, it's the first time as a married couple."

Parker nodded slowly. "I see." She paused. "Do you like having sex?"

Sophie's eyes widened in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"Oh." Parker couldn't help herself: her cheeks flushed softly. "That was not a question you ask, right? Do I have to write it down on the list of things you're not allowed to ask?" She pulled out the little notebook she was carrying with her since Sophie had told her to write down things about people during a job.

"Do you have an actual list of things not to say?" Sophie asked surprised.

Parker nodded again. "Yeah. Eliot said there are things you can't just say straight to people's faces, and that maybe I should write them down. Because some of them could apparently be embarrassing." She shrugged. "So, should I add this?"

"Um...well." Sophie's smile returned. "Maybe when it comes to strangers. It's not so bad if you ask a friend though."

"A friend." Parker smiled brightly, enjoying the unexpected warmth this one word from the other woman had caused inside her.

"You do know I'm your friend, don't you?" Sophie wanted to know.

"Oh, yes," Parker answered quickly. "Just feels nice to hear it." She saw Sophie's expression soften once more. It was a look she knew only too well, and which made her feel slightly uncomfortable in return. So she added, "Then do you like sex?"

Sophie chuckled. "Yes, I do. It's very enjoyable, if you do it with the right man."

"Like Nate." Parker nodded in understanding. "I like sex, too. Well, now I do. I didn't in the past. But now I think it's awesome. Kinda like jumping off a high building." She chuckled as well. "It's crazy, isn't it? Being in a serious relationship. Never thought it'd be that nice."

Once again, Sophie smiled, and once again, said smile was different to the previous one. In silence, she looked back at Parker for several long minutes, until the younger woman started to feel uncomfortable again.

"Why are you staring?" she wanted to know. "Is there something on my face?"

Sophie shook her head. "I was just thinking about something." She paused again before she added, "You're happy, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am." Parker nodded again.

"What is it like for you?" Sophie wanted to know. "To be in a relationship? It's not like you expected, right?"

"It's good. It's really good," Parker answered. After hesitating for a moment, she said, "And you know what's crazy? I'm not even afraid. At all. Can you believe that?"

"I can." Sophie's smile softened once more. "It's because you found the right man. He makes you feel safe, doesn't he? And happy. When you're together, you can be yourself. You don't have to put on a mask. Although you're not perfect, you know he wants you just the way you are. You know you can count on him. That he's having your back, and if you fall, he'll catch you. Is that what you're feeling?"

Parker nodded in agreement. "Yes," she said quietly.

"And that's why he's the right one for you," Sophie said. "Everyone has different wishes and needs. The right one is the man who can give you exactly that. In your case, that's safety and the certainty that you can be who you are."

"But isn't it still crazy?" Parker wanted to know. "I mean, I've never really liked to be around people. It's complicated. It's so much easier when you're alone. And now, I want exactly the opposite of that. I like having him around all the time. I want to be at his house with him, I want to sleep in his bed with him. I want him to touch me and hug me and kiss me. I never wanted anything of that at all, and now...I like it so much. Isn't that weird? And isn't it weird that it doesn't even scare me?"

"No, Parker." Sophie shook her head. "It's not weird at all."

Parker studied her for a moment. "Is that how you feel about Nate?" she wanted to know.

"Yes, that's how I feel about him," Sophie answered.

"Wow." Parker looked impressed. "That means I really love Eliot then, huh?"

"I guess it does." Sophie's smile widened. "And what does that feel like?"

"Pretty good." Parker nodded. "Yeah, it really feels pretty good. It feels right." She looked up. "That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"A very good thing indeed." Sophie held her gaze for a moment. Then she nodded towards the stack of magazines next to her. "What do you say? Should we look for locations for the honeymoon now?"

Grateful that Sophie had offered her such an easy way out of this intense conversation, Parker nodded. "You're my best friend, too," she whispered as she took one of the magazines. She was glad to see that Sophie hadn't heard her though. Openly telling someone how much she cared for them still wasn't easy for her. But Sophie was a best friend, that was for sure. Eliot was the right man for her. There was no doubt about that either. And somewhere along the line, she would understand that being able to have such feelings was indeed perfectly normal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.  
**Author's note:** Look, a new chapter! :D Oh, and yeah, I changed the rating to T again, because well, I don't plan on writing anything that requires a higher rating for now. ;) Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews again! Here's more!

* * *

**Chapter 6:**

When they had decided to make the step and give a relationship a chance, Eliot hadn't been entirely sure how being together with Parker would turn out. Said relationship had been off for a good start though. Much to his surprise, he had realised that tolerating her quirks had gotten easier, mostly because he knew that there was more to her than her crazy sides.

Being with her was easier than expected, although she was still good at driving him crazy with strange comments in the wrong moment, with blurting out whatever came to her mind and with coming up with the strangest ideas at times. It was entertaining to watch her though, and even quite fascinating at times.

He should have expected that things couldn't just stay easy and interesting like that. He should have expected that she would find a new way to rile him up. And she had managed to do exactly that a few weeks into their relationship. In a way he would have never dared to imagine.

His heart was still racing in a mix of panic and anger as they made their way up to Nate's apartment. All the way back, neither of the team members had dared to speak more than necessary. It had cost himself a lot to prevent himself from losing it right in Hardison's van.

By the time the front door to their headquarters had fallen shut though, he couldn't hold back any longer.

"Alright," Eliot said, gathering all strength he could to keep his voice as calm as possible. "Will you please tell us what the hell this crap was about?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Parker stated. Not bothering to even look at him, she walked over to the kitchen counter. The sight made his blood boil.

"You...don't..." He took another deep breath, but this time, his attempt failed. "What the hell did you think you were doing?! You went into that damn building, into that damn room although we told you to get the hell out of there! Why did you do that?!"

"I did what I always do," she told him. Turning around eventually, she stared back at him blankly, which riled him up even more.

"You did what you always do? Are you kidding me?! They could've killed you! They were that close to killing you after locking you in that room! Didn't you learn anything from the past? If you hadn't been able to get out of the window, they'd have shot you!"

"So what?" Parker shrugged. She broke the eye contact again, but he had already spotted the expression which she wanted to hide from him. This was more than just her doing something crazy without thinking like she had done on many occasions in the past. She had done it with an intention, which shocked him even more.

"So what?" Eliot repeated disbelieving.

"Yeah, so what. It's my job, right? To get into rooms, then open the safes and get us what we need. And see? I did it. Got us what we needed. Where's the problem?"

"Where's the..." Eliot's voice trailed off as he turned to their team mates. Neither of them looked like they were going to step in, but were watching the argument closely. For a brief moment, he felt the urge to yell at them, too, to ask them why they didn't help him with making Parker realise what she had gotten into. Although he and Nate had told her to leave the building because their cover story had blown up, she had gone even further into the large office building, had broken into one of the offices and opened the safe. In overwhelming panic, he had tried to get back in as well, held back by both, Nate and Hardison, just to see her jumping out of a window in the last possible moment before the security guards could have caught her. Armed security guards. She couldn't have been closer to being caught.

So why was it just him getting mad? Why was everyone else staying so quiet? While Parker stood in the middle of their headquarters, asking what the problem was? Unable to reply right away, Eliot mentally replayed what she had just said. Then realisation hit him.

"You...didn't do that on purpose, did you?" he asked quietly, the idea shocking him more than her actual actions. The look he received in response said more than words. "Are you completely insane now?!"

"Well, at least you learnt your lesson," she stated. He could see that she had reached the point where she was close to losing control over herself as well. The first tears were rising in her eyes as her own emotions threatened to overwhelm her. His heart instantly ached at the sight, but his shock, caused by what she had done, prevented him from calming down enough to offer comfort.

"What lesson?" he asked firmly. "What lesson, Parker?!"

"The lesson of what it's like to be afraid to lose someone!" she yelled back, so suddenly that she startled the entire team with the volume of her voice. "You're mad at me because I went back in to get the files out of the safe? That was nothing compared to what you did this morning!"

"What..." Eliot started, but once again, his voice trailed off. He knew perfectly well what he had done in the morning, and how close he had been to getting into serious trouble himself. He hadn't missed the look Parker had given him when he had returned to the van eventually, but had been too focused on them getting out safely to pay further attention to it.

Seeing her now, he realised that had been a mistake. Hadn't she just been mad because he had gone back into that warehouse to make sure the team could get out without any further interruptions? Had the situation really frightened her so much that she had decided to teach him a lesson with risking her own life in this office building?

"That was my damn job," he hissed back eventually.

"Yeah, it's always just the job, right?" Parker yelled back. She was looking straight at him now, no longer caring that the first tears were already rolling down her cheeks. "It's always the job. Your job is to protect us though, not to almost get yourself killed!"

"I knew what I was doing when I went back in there!" he shouted back. "I did that who knows how often already! I was in much worse situations in the past!"

"But you're not in the Army anymore, or working for one of those sick guys!" She was almost breathless at this point, her face had turned unnaturally pink. "We're a team, remember?! You guys all came to rescue me when I messed up because I wanted to help Archie! All of you believed it was wrong of me to just go in there alone! We're a team!"

"Yeah, we are, and my job is to protect this team!" They were turning in circles, and Eliot was getting desperate himself. Was she really unable to see his point? He had seen Parker angry before, but never before, she had lost it like that.

"But almost getting killed is not your job!" she exclaimed. "If things get too dangerous, we get out! That's what you expected me to do! That rule includes you, too! But you don't get that, and so I had to teach you a lesson! Yes, I went in there to scare you! Because I wanted you to see what it's like to sit there and be scared!"

And without waiting for a further response from him, she hurried upstairs. In utter shock, Eliot stood and stared at the empty place where she had stood just a moment ago. That Parker liked to cross lines wasn't new to them. But that she would go that far to prove her point topped everything she had done before. It was a scary thought and made him worry even more. She hadn't been out of her mind and doing something crazy either because she wanted to get her will or because she was looking for a new adrenaline kick. No, she had done it because of what he had seen in her eyes. Pain. And fear. And that made her actions even worse.

Eliot barely heard how Nate told Sophie to go upstairs as well before he headed into his kitchen. Still shaken up, he needed a few moments before he could return to the present completely. As he turned around, he found Hardison still standing beside him, watching him with a look that didn't help much.

"What?" Eliot asked. "You do agree what she did was wrong, right? How the hell can she get herself into such danger? Just to prove her point? That's...madness."

"Of course it is, man." Hardison shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. "But see...I get where she's coming from. Hey!" He raised his hands in defence as Eliot prepared to yell at the hacker now. "I'm not saying what she did was right, okay? It was wrong. Very wrong. But I do get why she did it in the first place."

"Oh yeah? Is that how you prove your point nowadays?" Eliot shot back. "With risking your life?"

Hardison shook his head. "No, I just mean...Man, she's right. You didn't have to do what you did this morning. You risked too much. You were damn lucky, you know that?"

"Oh, you think so? You think I was risking too much?" Feeling anger starting to boil deep within him once again, Eliot stared back at the man in front of him, who looked more uncomfortable by the minute. He opened his mouth to add more, but was interrupted by Nate.

"I think what Hardison's trying to say is that you're crossing the line sometimes," he said.

"I'm crossing the line?" Eliot asked disbelieving. "I'm crossing the line? It's my damn job to take care of you guys! To make you come out of a job safe and uninjured! Is that how you say thanks for that?"

"You're right," Nate stated calmly. "It is your job to protect us. But there are moments when it's enough. We all have our jobs, but there's a line we don't cross. If for example Sophie's story blows up, she has to run, no matter whether she blows up our covers as well or not. If Parker can't get into a safe or can't steal something without getting into trouble, she has to leave. That's what we wanted her to do today, and you're perfectly right with saying that what she did was wrong. And if Hardison gets tracked down by a security system, he has to make sure to get out of it, no matter what it means for the job."

"Yeah, I know that, and are you listening to yourself?" Eliot wanted to know. "Them getting out only ruins the job. Me getting out risks your lives."

"Us getting out can risk lives, too," Nate replied, a little more firmly this time. "And that's also not the point. What I'm trying to say is that we're a team. We're in this together. Everyone has their job, but everyone also has their limit. There should never be a point of no return, okay? That includes you, too, as you're part of this team. No one's life is risked. If you want to accept that or not. So while what Parker did was wrong, especially because of the reasons why she did it in the first place, what you did this morning was wrong, too."

"I tried to get you out of there unharmed," Eliot hissed back.

"Unharmed, yeah." Nate nodded. "Without any interruptions? No. We were out already, Eliot. You ran back because they were trying to follow us. We were in the van already, there was no need to get out again. What could they have possibly done? Fired a few bullets at us. The van could've been a little damaged. Maybe they'd have chased after us, might have complicated our plan a little. But that's nothing we couldn't have dealt with. It wasn't necessary for you to risk your life with distracting them so we could flee."

"I remember a certain time at a certain warehouse when you didn't mind that either," Eliot replied quietly, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

Nate nodded. "Yeah, but I'd have never asked you to do what you did. If there had been any other way to get out, I'd have preferred that." He sighed deeply. "Eliot, I understand you. I really do. You want to do everything to protect us, and you couldn't handle even the idea of anyone of us being hurt in any way. But you can't expect us to not worry about you, too. We're not just a team anymore. I think we all agree on that. We're a family, and each family member matters. If you want to agree with that or not...I don't care. I do care for everyone of you, and I don't want anyone of you to risk your life like that. Neither you nor Parker nor anyone else. You're not alone anymore, and you have to deal with the consequences. You've got responsibilities."

"Are you seriously talking to me about feeling responsible for someone?" Eliot asked in disbelief.

Nate shook his head. "I know you're the last one I have to tell something about taking responsibility for others. But you're not just responsible for protecting us. You're also responsible for your girlfriend. And for what happens when you take care of everyone but yourself."

"Means?" Eliot wanted to know, although he was convinced he knew what would come next.

"You're in a relationship," Nate answered. "Did you ever see Parker losing control over herself like that? We get to see her crazy sides on a daily business. Sometimes, she allows us to see what's behind her façade, too. But she never lets her walls down completely. Not like that. You know why she did it? Because she was scared. Because she knows how dangerous our job is, but that there are lines we don't cross. That we get out if necessary. She chose the worst possible way to make you realise how scared she felt. But while it was wrong, maybe you should at least try to understand her. We all know you'd do everything for us. But keep in mind that you're not alone anymore."

With those words, Nate returned to the kitchen. Eliot stared ahead in silence for a couple of moments, trying to process what his friend had said. Deep inside, he knew Nate, and even Parker, were right. He knew he was a little too willing to go too far for the team, especially now that they had really turned into his family. He couldn't bear the thought of them getting hurt, or even getting close to. The idea frightened him, and he wanted to avoid feeling that way. But was it okay to make Parker feel that way in return? After all, he knew how scared she was of losing someone again, having gone through that as a child, more than once most likely.

He was responsible for the team. For each and everyone of them. But also for his relationship. And he knew: if he didn't want his team mates, especially Parker, to go too far during a job and get into dangerous situations, he had to accept that they had the right to ask for him to take care of himself as well. It was only fair that way.

* * *

"Parker, can you please stop ignoring me?" Sophie asked for what felt like the hundredth time already. She sighed. "I'm not here to tell you off. I'm here to calm you down."

"I am calm," Parker stated. Still sitting in the middle of Nate's bed, she didn't bother to turn around. She wasn't lying; compared to earlier, she had calmed down already. Not enough to stop feeling upset, or desperate, but at least enough so she wouldn't yell anymore, or hyperventilate.

Parker tensed as she heard how Sophie slowly approached the bed. The urge to jump up and run got almost unbearable as her friend joined her on the bed. Instinctively, she winced as Sophie's hand came to rest on her shoulder.

"Listen, Parker," she started. "Eliot's mad at you because..."

"I know why he's mad at me," Parker interrupted her. "But he doesn't get why I'm mad at him. Why I did this. And you don't either."

Sophie sighed softly. "I do understand it, believe me. You wanted to make him feel the way you felt earlier. You were scared, because you thought you could lose him. That's one of your biggest fears, isn't it?"

"You said you'd feel more alive if you fell in love and went for it," Parker hissed back. "It makes you feel alive to worry. It does not. It's horrible. When I was in that van...how could he just run back? How could he leave me alone? I finally...I'm finally getting used to being with someone, and he does something like that. And doesn't even realise how it makes me feel! It was so much easier when I didn't feel anything. When I was alone."

"But would you like to go back to that?" Sophie asked softly. "You're happy with him. You love him. Would you give up on this feeling just so you don't have to worry anymore? Just so you don't have to be scared?"

Parker shook her head. "I just want him to stop. I know it's his stupid job to protect us. But...not like that. I mean...like it wasn't mine to go on, right? I did my job, but I wasn't supposed to, and he agrees that what I did was wrong. Why doesn't he see that what he did was wrong as well?"

"Maybe he does by now."

His voice didn't startled her. She hadn't heard how Eliot had joined them upstairs, but something inside her had felt it. Sophie gently squeezed her shoulder as she said, "I'll be downstairs."

Then she left. Parker stayed on Nate's bed, not daring to move, not daring to face him. She had to wait an endlessly long minute until Eliot finally made his way over to her and joined her on the bed like Sophie just had. She didn't tense as she felt how he moved closer, how he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, how he brought his face so close to her ear that she could feel his warm breath tickling her skin.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he said softly. "I didn't mean to upset you with that. I was just so mad, because I was scared."

"I yelled as well," she answered quietly. "Besides, you're not scary anyway. Even when you're mad."

"Is that so? I hope the bad guys out there don't think so, too."

The hint of a smile lit her face at his words. He sounded amused. At least he wasn't mad anymore.

"Do you understand why I got so angry?" Eliot wanted to know then. His low voice, along with the way he was gently rubbing her arm in a soothing gesture, worked better than anything Sophie could have said. Slowly, ever so slowly, she could feel herself calming down again.

"I know it was wrong," Parker admitted, although the words made her cringe. "I know I shouldn't have gone in there. I know it was dangerous. But...I was so mad, and I didn't know how else to make you feel what I felt." She paused. "Maybe I also wanted a little bit of revenge."

"That's what I thought." A chuckle escaped him before his voice turned serious again. "You know what you could've done? You could've talked to me."

"But you wouldn't have listened," she answered. "And I wouldn't even have known what to say! I'm not good at this. I really am not." She hesitated. "I...I thought if you were afraid of losing me, you'd understand how horrible that feels like. That you'd realise that what you're doing makes me feel the same way. And then you'd stop." She paused again. "Guess that didn't work."

"Well, I wouldn't say that," Eliot admitted. "Not that what you did was good. It wasn't good at all, and I never, never want you to do something like that again. Yell at me if you need to. Or even slap me if you can't help it. But don't get in danger just to make me understand something, okay?" He placed a quick kiss onto her shoulder, before he continued, "I think I do get it now though. That I shouldn't risk so much because I'm not just responsible for the team but also for myself, especially now that we're together."

Parker's eyes widened in surprise. Was it possible he had just agreed with her? That he understood her?

"For the record," he said then. "I didn't say what you did made me understand that. It was wrong. Period. Nate said a few things that made sense though."

She nodded slowly. "I got it," she answered, believing he wanted her to confirm that. "It's just that...well, sometimes you do crazy stuff when you love someone, and I didn't really know what else to do."

Eliot didn't reply to that. Turning around a little, she found him watching her with a surprised expression. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing." He tried to smile at her, but the expression stayed. As she raised her eyebrows questioningly, he added, "You just said you love me."

"So?" Parker gave him a confused look. "I said that before, didn't I?"

He shook his head. "No, you didn't. I know it, because I didn't say it myself either yet."

Once again, her eyes widened, this time in shock. Had she really just spoken out that she loved him for the first time? Before he had said those words? Had she been the first one to make this step? Unintentionally?

"Don't take it back!" Eliot added quickly. "Don't. Because...well, I love you, too."

"You do?" she couldn't help but ask surprised.

He chuckled again. "You still didn't notice that?" Pulling her closer, he kissed her. If she hadn't been sure whether or not their fight was over, this kiss confirmed it for her.

"Are we good again?" Parker wanted to know as they parted.

Eliot nodded in response. "Yeah. Let's just agree on one thing. I'll make sure to not overdo the job. I'll do what I have to do, but I'll pay more attention and stop when I have to. And you'll do the same. No crazy stuff anymore, okay? Nothing that could be dangerous."

She smiled. "Deal." Wrapping her arms around his waist, she snuggled into him. "That was our first fight. As a couple I mean."

"Yeah," he answered. "And it's okay. Fights are normal. You can't always agree on everything. Important is that you talk about it. I know we're both bad at talking, but we should learn it. Best way to solve a problem I guess." He paused before he added, "And I'll try not to yell at you next time."

"Oh, come on, I said already you're not scary." She grinned. "Besides, I'll yell at you again next time I'm mad at you."

"That's not nice of you, you know," he teased her. She could feel how he placed a soft kiss into her hair before he added, "I love you."

"I love you," she answered.

More words weren't needed, because everything important had been said. Sometimes, three little words could say more than hours-lasting speeches.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.  
**Author's note:** Thank you so much again for the lovely feedback, and for the pms! Want some more virtual hugs? Here, have some! And also, have a new chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 7:**

Although Sophie was determined to plan the wedding into great details, one little, but important detail would have to stay uncertain for quite a while. Deciding on the actual date seemed to be more difficult than expected, especially as job after job suddenly continued to get into the way.

Weeks and months passed without a date being picked for the big event. Being that busy was temporarily keeping the team's mind off the wedding. Eventually, almost half a year had passed since Nate's proposal.

And with that almost half a year of being an official couple for Eliot and Parker. At times, realisation had hit him when he had counted the days since that one night at the bar, when he had realised that she shared his feelings for her.

Almost half a year of being in a serious relationship. It almost sounded surreal, but was absolutely true. They had adjusted to said relationship faster and easier than both of them would have dared to imagine.

Being with Parker was a challenge at times, but, much to Eliot's relief, she hadn't tried to prove her point to him in a dangerous way again. Instead, they had started to work on their communication skills, making slow but steady progresses.

But despite the occasional difficulties, the way their relationship was developing proved Eliot's former theory right: being with her counted to one of the most honest an natural experiences he had ever had. He knew where he was with her. Parker wouldn't lie or play games with him, and even though she still had trouble with voicing her feelings and thoughts, she was capable of showing them to him, in her own ways, which he was starting to understand better and better with every passing week and month. And he knew: if she said 'I love you' to him, she meant it.

With the time, Parker had also adjusted to being Sophie's bridesmaid. No longer, she seemed to fear that she wouldn't have the right answers for her friend's questions. Instead, she hadn't even been scared when Sophie had announced that she wanted to celebrate a party of her own before she and Nate would get married. She had willingly left when Tara, the only other guest that had been invited to the party, had shown up at Nate's apartment to pick them up.

"You know, your idea wasn't that bad after all, man," Hardison said as he opened himself another bottle of beer. "The three of us sitting here, watching games and enjoying some beer? Best bachelor party ever." With a grin, he added, "And Nate's not even really drunk yet, so Sophie certainly won't try to kill us."

"It's just beer," Nate stated, taking another sip from his own bottle.

"Which is still alcohol," Eliot answered, smirking as Nate rolled his eyes. He was glad they had eventually settled for his idea, as the ones Hardison had come up with hadn't really been options. After all, who needed to party all night long? Apart from that, doing nothing for an evening almost felt like a party in its very own way. Thanks to their jobs, they had to go to real ones more than often enough. There wasn't really anything relaxing or exciting to them.

They settled back into comfortable silence for another hour: just the way men wanted to spend their night, Eliot had to admit. Even the usually constantly talking Hardison seemed to agree with that. Said silence was interrupted by the sound of a key in the keyhole though. All three of them turned around as the front door was pushed open and Sophie and Tara, both slightly leaning on each other for support, entered the apartment.

"Oh, the girl's night is over already?" Hardison grinned.

Sophie nodded. "We got a little problem, so we decided to get into a cab and come back."

Nate raised a suspicious eyebrow at his future wife, obviously resisting the urge to smirk. "Are you drunk, Sophie?"

Eliot didn't hear her answer though. Something else had caught his attention. "Where's Parker?" he wanted to know, feeling the familiar beginnings of discomfort rising.

"That's actually the problem Sophie was talking about," Tara answered, grabbing her friend's arm more firmly as she tried to steady herself on her high heels.

"What does that mean?" Within a second, Eliot got off the couch. "Where's she?"

"In the elevator still, trying to get out through the ceiling instead of the door," Tara answered. "She was quite offended when we told her to use the door."

"What?" He stared at the women in disbelief.

Sophie shrugged. "Well, you remember we wanted to celebrate at Tara's apartment? We had some alcoholic drinks there, but knowing how Parker behaves when she's on sugar already, I asked Hardison to hire someone who'll deliver us a nice, sweet bowl of something non-alcoholic for her."

"Wait a minute," Hardison interrupted. "You said it should be sweet, but you never said there wasn't supposed to be alcohol in there!"

"I did!" Sophie answered.

"Who the hell cares?" Eliot interrupted firmly. "How much of that stuff did she drink?"

"Almost the entire bowl," Tara answered. "We didn't know what was in there until she started to behave strangely." She added a shrug in response.

Rolling his eyes, Eliot shook his head in disbelief. "I'm going to get her," he stated before he hurried out of the apartment. Fortunately, Parker hadn't changed her mind yet by the time he arrived at the elevator in question. Somewhere along the line, she must have pushed the emergency button and was now dangling from the ceilings, her hands firmly gripping the handle of the lid that was supposed to be her exit. Once again, he shook his head in disbelief. He hadn't forgotten how she had behaved after eating too much chocolate. There was a reason why they kept bigger amounts of alcohol out of her reach. He didn't want to imagine what almost an entire bowl of whatever Hardison had ordered would do to her.

"Um...Parker, don't you think you should just go through the door?" he decided to ask then.

She looked at him as if he was crazy. "The door? That's totally boring! Not my way to exit an elevator." Then, she grinned. "Hi Eliot, I missed you, you know?"

"Yeah, I missed you, too." Sighing deeply, he stepped inside. Improvising was the only way to handle this situation. He had to get her somewhere safe before she would hurt herself in some way, or do anything else that could get her into trouble. The idea of having to deal with her in a state like that made him shudder.

"You know what?" Eliot suggested, hoping that he would be able to find a way through to her drunk mind. "Why don't you let me carry you out of here? That's not boring either. Especially as the lid doesn't seem to cooperate with you."

She glared again, this time at said lid. "Yeah, indeed! Pretty rude of it to not get the hell open finally."

Eliot approached her carefully as she pulled at the handle once again, preparing himself for the possibility that she could kick him the moment he'd touch her. Fortunately, she willingly wrapped her legs around his waist as he reached her. Gently, he grabbed her arms, and eventually, she let go of the lid's handle. Instead, her arms wrapped around his neck, so firmly that he had to gasp for air for a moment.

"Hey," she whispered, offering her sweetest smile as she brushed a hand over his cheek. "I really missed you a lot. Even more when Sophie and Tara gave me that sweet stuff to drink. It made me feel so weird." She shuddered.

"Yeah, I wonder why? There was alcohol in there." He sighed as he carried her out of the elevator. "Didn't you taste that?"

Parker shook her head firmly. "No. It tasted so sweet. Almost like chocolate, or cereals. They said it was all mine if I stayed away from their drinks."

"How nice of them," Eliot stated sarcastically. How ironic: they had tried to keep her away from their drinks, and eventually, she had turned out to be drunker than them. Quickly, he returned to the apartment, trying not to get too distracted by the way she buried her face in his hair.

"You smell so good," she whispered then. Brushing his hair aside as good as she could, she placed a wet kiss onto his neck. "And you taste good."

"Thanks, nice of you," he sighed, carefully carrying her through the doorway to prevent her from bumping her head on the door frame. She kissed him again, and he couldn't resist the urge to shudder this time. "Can you please stop that now?"

"Why?" She shook her head at him. "I don't want to stop. I love to kiss you. Could do that all the time. And touch you. Could do that all the time as well. 'Cause you're damn hot, you know."

With those words, she shoved one hand down the front of his shirt, returning to kissing his neck as she did so. He grabbed her wrist firmly, pulling her hand back, cursing the fact that her hands had gotten so strong after years of practising. Much to his relief, Nate had guided the other two women into the kitchen to serve glasses of cold water to them. Unfortunately, Hardison was still sitting on the couch though, watching them with a broad grin.

"Whoa, you should get her drunk more often, man," he said with a wink.

"You'll pay for that Hardison, you know?" Eliot shot back with a glare.

"Oh, come on!" Hardison sat up straight. "That ain't my fault, man! Sophie didn't tell me that stuff was supposed to be for her!"

"That doesn't help, okay?" Eliot replied firmly. "It's me who has to deal with the crazy stuff she's going to do!"

"But I don't want to do any crazy stuff," Parker slurred. "Just want to do you."

While Hardison broke out into laughter, Eliot glared at his grinning girlfriend. The worst was that he couldn't even blame her: he doubted she was aware of what she was doing at all.

"Nate, I'm going to stay at your guest room tonight," he announced then. "I can't drive myself, and I'm not going to go by cab with her if she's behaving that way."

"Why, are you afraid she could jump you on the back seats?" Hardison teased. He laughed even more at the frustrated glare he got in response.

"At my guest room?" Nate asked, obviously not too pleased by the idea.

"Well, you can blame your future wife for that," Eliot shot back. "Good night everyone."

And without waiting for any further reaction from anyone, he left. A sigh of relief escaped him as the door of said guest room fell shut behind him eventually. Parker's attention was focused on her attempts of unbuttoning his shirt by this time, which failed due to the fact she didn't have much control over her hands anymore.

"Come on, let's get you into bed," he said in another hopeless attempt to distract her. "You're surely tired."

Once again, she shook her head. "No. Not at all. I'm perfectly awake."

"Yeah, great." He rolled his eyes. "See, but I'm tired, so you're going to bed as well now." Carefully, he tried to place her on the covers. "Come on, let go of me."

Eliot needed another three attempts until he could free himself of her arms and legs. Before Parker got a chance to get up again, he freed her of her shoes and quickly wrapped the blanket around her before he joined her in bed.

"I'm still dressed!" she complained.

"Yeah, and you're staying dressed," he told her.

Parker sighed deeply. "Fine, but at least you could undress."

"No." Eliot grabbed her hands firmly before she could let them disappear under the thick blanket. "And your hands stay where I can see them."

"Why?" she complained. "Usually, you never have a problem with me wanting sex."

"Yeah, because you're not drunk then." He wrapped his arms around her, carefully pulling her closer.

"And why does that matter?" she wanted to know, much to his relief snuggling into him. "Am I not hot enough when I'm drunk?"

He groaned in frustration. "That's not it. It's just not something you do. And now settle down and go to sleep."

With those words, Eliot tightened his arms around her, making sure she had nowhere to go. Parker tried to wiggle her way out, squirming for a couple of endlessly long minutes until exhaustion finally started to kick in. Another half an hour later and her soft snoring assured him that she had finally fallen asleep. Only then, he allowed himself to drift off as well.

* * *

The next morning started bright and sunny. It didn't take Eliot longer than a couple of second to remember how the formerly calm bachelor party had turned out eventually. Much to his relief, he could feel that Parker hadn't gotten up somewhere along the line, but was still lying next to him.

A groan, coming from her half of the bed then, announced that she had woken up as well. He opened his eyes just in time to see the blond mess that was her hair disappear under the blanket.

"Stupid sun," he could hear her growl.

"You don't think it's the alcohol you should blame?" he asked back. Carefully, he grabbed the edge of the blanket to pull it back. He was greeted by a frustrated glare. "Come on, let's get you up. It won't get better if you stay in here. We should get back home anyway. To get showered and changed."

Parker mumbled something in response that he didn't understand, agreed to get up though. In slow motion, she left the guest room together with him. Another groan escaped her at the realisation that the entire team had gathered in Nate's living room as well. Sophie and Tara didn't look much better than the thief though.

"No one'll talk," Parker ordered quietly as she slowly made her way towards the kitchen. "Or I'll stab you all. With a spoon."

"With a spoon?" Hardison asked, raising his eyebrows. "I'd like to see how you're going to do that. Doubt you can stab someone with a spoon."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, man," Eliot answered as Parker didn't manage to do more than glare in response. Firmly grabbing the kitchen counter, she squeezed her eyes shut.

"That's not good," she whispered. "Not good at all."

"You should eat something," Eliot suggested. "That'll make you feel better."

Parker shuddered. "Ugh. No. Not now." Her hand came to rest on her stomach. "That doesn't feel good either."

"You need to throw up?" he wanted to know, preparing to race her to the bathroom if he had to. But she shook her head, as good as she could.

"I want to go home," she said quietly. "Can we go home?"

"Yeah, sure." Eliot nodded in agreement. He threw another short glance towards the couch, just to find Hardison looking back, seemingly feeling guilty now.

"You know, I really had no idea," he said. "Anything I can do?"

"Yeah," Tara next to him said. "Don't talk."

Eliot shook his head in response to his friend's question. Then his attention turned back to Parker. Carefully and slowly, he led her out of Nate's apartment. Halfway to the elevator though, she stopped.

"Can you carry me?" she asked, her voice not more than a whisper. She looked so poorly that he couldn't have said 'no' to her, even if he had wanted to.

"Come here," he answered, lifting her up into his arms. "But this time, you're going to behave, right?"

Parker didn't answer. Instead, she sighed lightly and rested her head against his shoulder. Like this, Eliot quickly made his way downstairs to the car. As good as he could with her in his arms, he unlocked the car.

"So, here we are. One step closer to getting back home." He offered a supportive smile as he helped her to get comfortable in the passenger's seat. She squeezed her eyes shut once again for a moment before she looked up at him. Much to his surprise, her cheeks flushed softly.

"Did I do anything stupid?" she wanted to know. "More stupid than usual I mean."

He shook his head. "No. Not really. You tried to leave an elevator through the ceiling instead of the door though, said some silly stuff and couldn't keep your hands off of me."

A tiny smile lit her face as she chuckled. "That's nothing unusual then," she answered, still unable to speak louder. Her expression softened then and she added, "Thank you for not kicking me out of the window. I was surely annoying."

"You've been worse." He winked at her. "Besides, that's what you do, right? When you're together." He leant in and placed a soft kiss onto her forehead. "Now be quiet, it's not good for the headache if you keep talking."

Parker nodded in agreement. She closed her eyes as he started the car and didn't open them until they arrived at his house. Whether or not she had been referring to that when asking to be taken home hadn't even come up as a question. Once again, Eliot realised that somewhere along the line, his house had become her second home, and that she was barely spending any time at her warehouse anymore. It was an enjoyable thought, he had to admit.

"Should I make you something to eat now?" he wanted to know as he carried her inside. Like expected, she shook her head again.

"Can I please sleep some more?" she asked back. "I promise I'll eat when I wake up."

Eliot nodded in response. "You know what? We'll get you into bed. Then I'll give you one of the pancakes from yesterday and a glass of water. You'll eat that and then you can sleep. The real food you'll get later. Does that sound okay to you?"

"Yes," she agreed.

Satisfied, he carried her into his bedroom. Quickly, he hurried into his kitchen to get pancake and water. By the time he returned to the bedroom though, Parker looked even more miserable than she had when he had left.

"What's wrong?" he wanted to know, joining her on the bed. "Your stomach got worse?"

Pouting slightly, she shook her head. "No. I just can't get out of this stupid dress. Why'd Sophie make me wear this?"

"I'll help you with that," Eliot promised. "As long as you eat the pancake."

She rolled her eyes at him, and winced at the pain the gesture caused. Wordlessly, he handed the rolled up pancake to her, doubting that she was in the right state to use plate and fork, along with the glass of water before he turned his attention to her dress. Gently, he pushed her hair out of the way before he started to work on the zipper.

She shivered lightly as his fingers brushed over her skin while he freed her of the dress Sophie had asked her to wear. The sight had its usual effect on him. Not giving in to the longing that came with undressing her though was almost too easy to be true. Now wasn't the moment to even think about something like that. Plain and simple.

To Eliot, that was yet another proof for how serious things between them had really gotten during those last couple of months. It was hard for him to resist her. She was a stunning, beautiful woman. Kissing her, touching her, simply feeling her was something he had quickly gotten addicted to. To sum it up, he couldn't get enough of her.

But he could resist her if he had to. Like last night, when she had tried every trick to lure him into giving her what she had wanted from him. Or in moments like this, when she felt so poorly and needed nothing else but comfort from his side. He would adjust to the situation, to give her what she really needed. Her wishes came first. Always. To him, this proved that he cared for her in a way he had never cared for anyone before, especially not for a woman.

"Can I have one of your shirts?" Parker asked, mouth full with pancake, after he had freed her of the dress completely.

"Sure, which one do you want?" Eliot asked, nodding towards his closet.

"Not a new one," she answered. "They smell like your washing machine. But I want it to smell like you." She pointed at him. "I want that one. You only wore it once, so it's almost new."

In the past, such a question would have either made him stare at her or roll his eyes. By now, her requests weren't anything unusual to him anymore. It was just part of her entire behaviour when it came to him. She had never kept much distance between them. Since they were together, she was looking for closeness even more. According to Nate, that had to do with her wish for safety: something he could offer to her. Even after months of being together, she still desired to be hugged. Because for the first time, she had someone whom she trusted enough to get that close to her.

Without asking any further questions, Eliot got out of his shirt and helped her into it. He waited until she had finished the pancake and glass of water before he helped her to lie down. As he wrapped his blanket around her, she grabbed his wrist firmly.

"Lie with me until I'm asleep?" she asked.

Nodding, he did like she had requested. Lying next to her, he watched Parker as she closed her eyes for a moment. Then, a soft smile lit her face and she opened them again.

"Getting better already?" Eliot wanted to know.

"A bit," she replied quietly. Her smile widened a little as she added, "I still think you're sweet."

"And why do you think that?" he asked back.

She smile softened. "Because you're always taking care of me. You want to make me feel good. All the time."

"Of course I want to make you feel good," he answered. "That's what you do when you love someone, you know."

"But you're not silly," she continued. "Like some guys are. They're all sweet all the time. Like totally over the top. You aren't. You tell me off when I'm doing something stupid. And then, when I need you, you're sweet again."

"It's about the balance I guess." Eliot could feel there was more behind her words than she was able to express: her eyes were revealing that to him. It was an intense gaze, and he had seen it quite often lately. In her case, a glance or gesture could say more than million words. In such situations, so he had realised, she was entirely there with him, completely focused on the situation, blocking out everything around her, every thought that could disturb her. He wished he knew what exactly she was thinking in moments like that, and whether or not such thoughts came anywhere close to those he was having lately. So far, he hadn't dared to ask though.

"I love you," she said then, offering another little smile.

Leaning in, he placed another kiss onto her forehead. "I love you, too," he answered. Gently, he ran a hand through her hair. Then he watched her in silence as she closed her eyes again, and waited until he was sure she had fallen asleep. Once again, he was close to drifting off as well, but it was his vibrating cell that startled him awake.

Quickly to not wake her up, Eliot left the bedroom again before he answered his phone.

"What?" he hissed.

"Hey man, sorry I'm disturbing," Hardison said at the other end of the phone. "I just...well, how's Parker doing? Still that poorly?"

"She's sleeping now," Eliot whispered, making his way further into the living room to get some distance between himself and the bedroom. "But she's better. Why? You feeling guilty?"

"Yeah, to be honest, I do," Hardison admitted. "Listen, I really didn't know that stuff was for her. Sophie even admitted she might've not been clear enough."

Eliot couldn't help but smile at his friend's words. "It's alright, Hardison, calm down. She'll do fine. Nothing some sleep, food and painkillers can't take care of." He let himself fall onto the living room couch. "What about the others?"

"Tara and Sophie?" Hardison chuckled. "Guess they regret their party by now." He paused. "Well, speaking of Tara..." His voice trailed off again, making Eliot raise his eyebrows.

"What's with her?"

"Well, you know, man, actually, she's back in town for quite a while already," Hardison answered. "And, you know, thought it'd be nice to meet her again. 'Cause we've been working together and all. Celebrate the old times. Things like that."

"Hardison," Eliot interrupted, unable to suppress an amused smirk.

"Okay, fine." Hardison groaned. "Turned out we met more than once. In fact, we...well..."

"You're dating her?" Eliot fought against the urge to laugh. The idea of Hardison dating Tara was definitely an interesting one.

"Kinda. I guess." Hardison sighed deeply. "Don't tell anyone though."

"Oh, it's a secret love affair then?" Eliot asked back, grinning.

"Hey, that's not funny, man!" Hardison complained.

"Well, payback's a bitch, right?" Eliot answered. He could picture his friend's uncomfortable face as they were talking: definitely made up for the teasing from the previous night. In a more serious voice, he added, "That's a great thing though. Congrats on finally getting yourself a girl."

"Thanks, man," Hardison answered, relief shining through in his voice. "I appreciate that. 'Cause you're my best friend."

"Yeah, yeah, don't get sappy now," Eliot interrupted him, once again unable to resist a smile though. He had made sure by now that Hardison was aware of the fact that their friendship was mutual, no matter how different they were from each other. Probably said differences were the reason why their friendship worked so well.

"Sappy?" Hardison chuckled. "It's not me in a serious relationship, right?" He paused before he added, "You know, it's great to see the two of you that way, man. Happy and all. And how you're treating each other. Looks like true love to me."

"Hardison," Eliot sighed. "I said don't be sappy."

"It's just the truth!" Hardison replied. "I mean, look at the two of you. Together for half a year already, and it's working damn well, isn't it? You'll see, man, it's the two of you who'll get married next."

"That's not funny, Hardison!" Eliot growled in response, cursing himself as he felt his cheeks heating up. Fortunately, his friend was unaware of that.

"I'm not joking, man!" Hardison said. "Just look at you and her. Like how you took care of her last night, and this morning. You're almost like a married couple already."

"Okay, phone call is over," Eliot sighed.

Hardison chuckled. "You'll see I'm right, man. See you later."

And with those words, he hung up. Eliot stared at his phone in silence for a moment before he shook his head and got up to join Parker in bed again, convinced that he was in need of some sleep as well.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.  
**Author's note:** Look, a new update! ;) I promised there'd be a new chapter, and here it is. Thanks so much for the lovely reviews! Happy reading again! :D

* * *

**Chapter 8:**

They stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Parker, obviously not good at dealing with being hungover, had refused to go anywhere, and Eliot had needed all his skills to convince her that at least sometimes, she had to eat something, if she didn't want her stomach to feel even worse.

After the previous night, Eliot was grateful for a couple of calm, quiet hours. Of course she could've behaved worse. Fortunately, her entire attention had focused on him when he had appeared, so her running away all of the sudden hadn't been an option.

The plain idea of that made him shudder. Parker running away while being drunk like that would have turned into a challenge for all of them, especially as half of the team wouldn't have been able to help the men with finding their thief.

Taking care of her in a state like this had been exhausting, but had been worth it as well. Eliot hadn't forgotten the way she had been looking at him earlier that day, lying in his bed with him, about to fall asleep again.

Although he would never openly admit it, he could understand why Hardison was having such a view on the both of them. During the last couple of months, an intense connection between them had developed.

Months of being together obviously could do that to a couple. Eliot couldn't deny he was still amazed when realisation hit him that months had passed since the night he had taken her out to the diner, since that night he had found Parker at the bar, upset because she didn't know how to handle her own feelings.

According to Hardison, they had a well-working relationship, and in his eyes, they would be the next to get married. It was only a question of time. This idea had made him roll his eyes at first. The longer he had thought about it though, the more he could see where his friend was coming from with said idea. They weren't just dating for fun. It was a serious relationship.

A very serious one. Because somewhere along the line, they had come to the point where they had stopped being one single person. They had learnt that whatever they did involved the both of them. He was trying his best to follow her wish and be more careful. She was trying her best to behave and not constantly drive him crazy on purpose. And even though Parker still owned her warehouse, she had basically moved in with him. That cold, empty place wasn't what she was referring to anymore when she used the word 'home'. It was his house she would go to with him, every single day.

If Eliot was honest to himself, he couldn't deny that a lot had changed during those months. Most of that were little details, but he knew sometimes, those mattered more than the big, obvious things. Her pretty much moving in with him was just one of many examples. There was also the way they were interacting with each other, understanding each other so much better now, often needing not more than a few looks or gestures to communicate. There was the fact that she was wearing at least one piece of his clothes every day, even if it was just a jacket. There was also the fact that he would always make breakfast, lunch or dinner for the both of them, even if she wasn't around yet, because he knew eventually, she would show up.

They had gotten used to each other, to being a couple, and he couldn't imagine things to change again. Neither of them was making a big deal of their relationship, was constantly questioning where they wanted to go with it, how it was supposed to develop. They weren't following any relationship rules, weren't interested in typical stuff most couples did, especially in the beginning. All those little details told him that they had left the early stages of being a couple ages ago, without even being aware of how close they really were by now. Being with each other had changed everything between them, and yet felt like the most natural development they could think of.

Still lying in bed with his eyes closed, Eliot sighed at this mix of confusing thoughts. He was glad that neither he nor Parker were wasting time with analysing their relationship, with making it unnecessarily complicated. But then, Hardison had to show up and point out how far they had made it in said relationship already, and he couldn't help but wonder if his friend was right.

Eventually deciding to open his eyes, Eliot realised that the other half of the bed had been abandoned somewhere along the line. In confusion, he stared at it for a moment, wondering when Parker had gotten up, and why he hadn't noticed her doing so. Obviously, the previous night, Nate's bachelor party included, had exhausted him more than expected.

Quietly, he made his way through his house. Unlike what he had expected, Parker hadn't sneaked into his backyard though. For a brief moment feeling a rush of nervousness, Eliot considered calling for her, just to realise that his front door was opened. As he stepped outside as well, he found her sitting on the small bench, located on his front porch, legs pulled up to her chest, chin resting on her knees. As she became aware of his presence, she greeted him with one of her bright smiles.

"You're awake," she said. "And I thought I was the hungover sleepy head."

"What are you doing out here?" he asked back, joining her on the bench. Instantly, she unwrapped herself from her own embrace and moved closer. Following whatever instinct he had developed during the months of being with her, he closed her into his arms, adjusting their position until she was resting against his chest with her back.

"Watching the sunset," Parker answered, nodding her head into the direction in question. "I love the sunset, you know? And the sunrise."

"Yeah, most women do," Eliot stated. "What?" he added at the look she gave him in response.

"Most women do that because they think it's romantic!" she said, almost sounding offended. "That's not why I like it though!"

"And why do you like it?" he asked back.

Parker's smile returned. "Because it's stunning. You see how red the sun gets? It looks like a beautiful, red diamond. So surreal, you know? As if you could reach out and just grab it. And the sky...somewhere along the line, there's this point when it turns completely golden for a moment. It's such a pure, amazing golden tone." She chuckled. "Imagine one could steal the sky. I'd so give it a try."

With those words, she stared ahead again, her eyes sparkling with excitement. Eliot smiled at her words. He could imagine how the sky, covered in what appeared like pure gold, would make her feel like. So little things could make her happy at times, and she never failed to amaze him with that. Not too long ago, she had spotted a beautiful, little butterfly in his backyard, and had spent an hour with watching it, taking in every of its movements. Her job had taught her to have an eye for details, and he never got tired of her using said skill during their all day life.

"You do know you're wearing my stuff again?" he couldn't help but point out then. This time, she wasn't just wearing his shirt over her top. Everything she wore she must have found in his closet.

Parker shrugged in response. "You said I'm not supposed to go outside without really wearing anything. Even though I still think underwear is something as well."

"But you got most of your clothes here, too," Eliot said.

She shrugged again. "So? I like your stuff better."

For her, the question was answered with that. Eliot could only shake his head at her, not without his smile widening though. This habit was one of those little, yet obvious details, and what made it even better in his eyes was the fact she wasn't doing it for overdone romantic reasons.

"Sophie and Nate are going to get married soon," she said then, once again breaking the comfortable silence that had quickly settled between them.

Eliot only nodded in response. He knew her well enough to be aware of the fact that she had more to say. The questioning expression in her eyes proved him right.

"What's it like to be married?" she asked then.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "How am I supposed to know? I've not been married yet."

"I know, silly." Parker rolled her eyes at him. "But...I do wonder what it's like. I mean, what's being married about? Is it really just a piece of paper that means nothing? Or is it really torture, like some people say? Is it really hard work? What's it like? If it's that horrible, why do people do it in the first place? Just because of the party?"

Sighing, Eliot shook his head at her. "That's quite a lot of questions, you know?" He paused. Telling her that he had no idea what it was like wouldn't make her stop or satisfy her. She wanted answers, or she would keep on questioning him. Mentally, he groaned at her. She had a talent for coming up with complicated questions, especially regarding topics he wasn't an expert of at all.

"See, like I said, I don't know," he decided to say then. "I think it's different for everyone. People have their idea of what marriage should be like in their minds. It's like with relationships. Those are all different as well. Some people maybe expect to have the perfect marriage, just to realise that their expectations were too high, and they get upset. The partners think they have to set up rules the other one has to follow, and that often doesn't work out either I guess."

Parker nodded slowly. "But you'd think most people get married because they love each other, right?"

Eliot shrugged. "Sometimes, they also just get married because their parents want them to, or because the woman's pregnant."

"What does a pregnancy have to do with that?" She frowned.

He shrugged again. "It's traditional. A lot of people think you have to be married when you're about to have a baby."

"I see." Parker frowned again. "You know what I don't get? Why so many marriages don't work. I mean, my parents..." Her voice trailed off, her expression changed instantly. Instinctively, he tightened his arms around her.

"Don't talk about them if you don't want to," Eliot told her softly.

She nodded. "Well...then what about my foster parents? One couple that took care of me...they didn't love each other at all. Why were they even married?"

"I don't know." Eliot sighed again. "Parker, why do you think about this so much?"

It was her turn to shrug. "Because Sophie and Nate will get married soon. And...I don't want them to hate each other as well one day. Nate's already been divorced once."

"Yeah, but he and Maggie still like each other. Even though it's quite awkward with them at times," Eliot replied. "And not every marriage is doomed. Those couples just...well, they're the loudest, you know? An arguing couple catches your attention more than a calm, happy couple walking by in the same moment. There are a lot of marriages that work really well, and some people are married for decades, and happy with it. I do think that a good marriage is really a lot of work. But if people love each other and don't go into it with stupidly high expectations, believing that only their wishes matter, they surely aren't bothered by all the work they have to invest."

Parker nodded again. "That makes sense to me." For another couple of moments, she was quiet, but he could feel she wasn't done with the topic yet.

"You said that every couple has a different definition of marriages," she said then. "What's yours?"

This time, he couldn't suppress a groan at her question. "Parker, why does it matter?" Eliot wanted to know. For a brief moment, he wondered if a certain person had dared to confront her with his thoughts as well. "Has Hardison talked to you about marriage?"

She gave him a confused. "No. Why should he?"

"I don't know." He rolled his eyes at her. "Why do you want to know that then? Why does it matter?"

"I'm just curious," she said. "I mean...when it comes to Nate and Sophie, it seems like it's all about the wedding. About the party."

"I don't think the party's what it's all about," he said. "The wedding's just very important to Sophie. Like I said, most women have been dreaming of that day since they were little girls." He shook his head at her as she gave him a questioning look. "You still want an answer for that question, huh? I never thought about that topic before."

"I bet you did." Parker grinned. "You just don't want to say."

It was Eliot's turn to glare at her. There were times when she had no idea what was going on in people's minds. Other times, she would be almost scarily observant.

"Fine," he sighed then. "For me, if you're getting married, all that really matters is that you love each other. If it was up to me, there wouldn't be big wedding parties. What do you need those for after all? They're expensive, they're stressful, and most of the time, people don't even know half of the guests they've invited. It's tradition of course, but most of the time, it's just overdone. I bet the couple won't forget that day, but certainly not just because of how wonderful it was. They'll remember the stress and frustration as well. The act of getting married is what matters, and you don't need a fancy location, loads of foods and guests for that."

Pausing, Eliot met Parker's eyes, wondering how she would react to his thoughts. He knew: if he shared them with a woman like Sophie, said woman wouldn't talk to him for weeks. Or ever again. His girlfriend though was staring back at him in silence, curiously waiting for him to continue.

"I think marriage is about two people in love making it official," he continued then. "They promise to always be there for each other, no matter what. They'll face all challenges together. It's a statement, you know? That they belong together. Just the two of them, and no one and nothing will ever get between them. I guess it also makes you feel safe in some way. Not that you can't still run away from your partner. But I think when you're married...you gave each other a promise after all. And I think if you really love each other, you'll try to keep that promise and work for that, even if it's hard at times." He paused again. "You know, I don't think marriage is really romantic. Or that you need a party for it. It's about promising something, about keeping that promise, and about knowing that this other person decided that they always want to be by your side."

Taking a deep breath, Eliot waited for Parker to respond. Was she satisfied with his explanation now? He couldn't deny answering her question had been easier than expected, as soon as he had actually started to talk. In silence, she stared back at him for a while, seeming to process what she had heard. Did his speech make sense to her? Or was she even more confused now?

"I like your definition," she said eventually. "A lot. If being married is like that, I think it's a great thing."

Once again, her voice trailed off, and once again, he found her studying him. Something in her eyes had changed, and her thoughtful expression made him wish he was able to read her mind at this particular moment.

"You think you and I would make a good married couple?" she asked then, and even though he had expected a lot from her, such a direct question managed to shock him.

"Parker, that's definitely enough questions for now!" he replied quickly.

She shrugged in response. "Fine." Turning around a little bit more, she wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. "Did you know Hardison and Tara are dating?"

Eliot looked at her in surprise. "Yeah, but I thought that was supposed to be a secret. How did you find out?"

"Tara told us," Parker explained. A giggle escaped her as she added, "She said Hardison was all over the moon when she kissed him for the first time. Got all excited."

"Really? I didn't expect that at all," Eliot replied, resisting the urge to laugh.

Parker was quiet for a moment, just staring ahead in silence. "Thanks for answering," she told him then.

"Anytime," he said. Holding her closer, he studied her as she turned her attention back to the sunset. Eliot couldn't deny that answering Parker's question was easy, if he was honest to himself. Actually telling her what he had in mind was a different story though.

* * *

Standing in front of the bedroom mirror, Parker was studying herself with a critical glance. She had already been aware of the dress Sophie had picked for her. After all, the bridesmaid had to look pretty. Not as pretty as the bride of course, but still pretty.

And so, Sophie had picked a silky, light blue dress for her best friend. Parker, never much into dressing up, wasn't too pleased with it, although it definitely looked much better than the pink one she had to wear at another certain wedding. Or the scary one she had seen Sophie considering first.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to look relaxed and calm, but she knew her eyes were giving her away. This wasn't a stranger's wedding after all, and also not a job. She was really part of the whole event, even had a rather big role in the whole game. Sophie had planned a big party for them and the other guests.

A scary thought, she had to admit. Big parties were okay as long as they were part of a job and could be left as quickly as possible. But this one was real. This would be a real wedding, with real emotions. Nate and Sophie had written down little speeches for each other.

Shuddering, Parker gave herself another look over. Why couldn't they get married the way Eliot had described it a few days ago? After all, who needed a big, expensive wedding when the marriage that followed afterwards was what really mattered?

Marriage. Unlike most other girls obviously, Parker had never really invested any thoughts into this topic. She simply hadn't had the time for that. Other things had been more important. But then again, planning a fictional wedding wasn't the only thing she had missed to do during her childhood.

Now that two of her best friends would make this step though, the topic had come up, and she had wondered what it was like. What was it like to be married to someone, to call that person a 'husband' or 'wife'? Was it a good feeling? Or a bad one? People seemed to have so many different opinions when it came to getting married. Some loved the idea so much that they already had the perfect plan in their mind before the right person had even shown up. Others wanted to run as soon as someone used the words 'wedding' or 'marriage'.

So far, Parker hadn't had any feelings regarding this topic. She had just been curious. Since listening to Eliot's explanation of what he believed marriage was about, she couldn't help but think that in fact, it seemed to be a good idea. At least as long as it was done right.

One of her questions, he hadn't answered though. Would they make a good married couple? Would they make it work? Said question was still spinning in her mind. She liked the safety of knowing that there was this one person who had promised to always be there for her, to always be by her side. But could he imagine making such a promise? Was it even an option?

The sound of the bedroom door being opened startled her back to the present then. Shaking her head to clear her mind, she turned around.

"Are you ready now?" Eliot wanted to know. "We have to hurry or we'll be late."

Parker shrugged. "I don't know. Do I look okay that way? I don't want Sophie to be upset because I messed it up. She said all I have to take care of is me getting dressed like a decent bridesmaid."

A smile lit his face as he stepped closer. "Well, then you did really well. Because you look beautiful."

"Really?" she asked back.

Eliot nodded. "You always look beautiful. But that dress looks fantastic on you."

"Does it make me sexy?" Parker wanted to know.

He chuckled. "That, too, yeah. And no, you better forget about those naughty thoughts again. Like I said, we're going to be late."

"We could hurry," she suggested. She was standing right in front of him now, only inches separating them. The urge to get out of the dress again was too tempting. "And then we could drive really fast."

"No to both," Eliot answered quietly.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Fine!" Shaking her head at him, she added, "Are you nervous yet?"

"Why should I be?" he asked back.

She shrugged. "Because it's a wedding after all. A big thing. Sophie needed months to get it all planned. And remember, sometimes the groom or the bride can do really crazy things. Like changing their mind last minute and running away. Things like that." Her eyes widened. "Imagine Nate wouldn't show up! Sophie would hunt him down and kill him!" The idea made her shiver. She knew there had been a time when Nate hadn't had a good opinion about getting married. Sophie had seemed to be rather upset by that. Later, she had explained that Nate had simply needed his time to get over his first marriage. But what if he changed his mind and realised he didn't want to make this step? It was a scary idea in her opinion.

"I doubt Nate would ever do that to her," Eliot assured her. "He wants to do this as much as Sophie. It's all going to be okay. That's the advantage of a person like Sophie planning it. I guess she thought about every single detail. And no one will dare to mess with her plan. So no need to be nervous at all. Especially as it's not us who have to do all the hard work."

Parker sighed playfully. "You still didn't answer my question," she said then, before she could stop herself. She couldn't tell where the sentence had suddenly come from. His eyes widened for a brief second. Parker could feel his hesitation, but before she even got the chance to consider whether or not she should take her words back, he answered.

"You wanted to know if I think you and I would make a good married couple, yeah?" he asked back. "Well, honestly? If you really agreed with my view on marriage, I think we'd make it work, because we'd focus on what's necessary, not on silly stuff that'd complicate it." He gave her a warning look as she opened her mouth to reply and added, "No more questions, Parker! That's my answer. And now hurry up. I really don't want Sophie to freak out because we're late."

Parker just nodded in agreement. Willingly and not really caring whether or not her dress and hair would be okay that way, she followed him. There were more questions she wanted to ask, but Eliot had already answered the most important one. The others could be brought up later.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** What It's Like  
**Summary:** Parker has never learnt how to deal with feelings. How is she supposed to understand them now?  
**Characters:** Parker, Eliot  
**Pairings:** Eliot/Parker, mentions of Nate/Sophie  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I DON'T own anyone or anything. I DON'T own the characters. The fanfic is written for fun, NOT for profit.  
**Author's note:** This is the last chapter of this story. Thank you so much to everyone who read it, and for the lovely reviews! I hope you had fun with reading it. :)

* * *

Weddings and their huge parties had never been as interesting to Parker as they seemed to be to other women. In the past, she had attended a few of those, but not to celebrate: at a big wedding party, she would find a lot of people who were either rich or wore a lot of nice jewellery. Or both. And even if they weren't too rich, there was still something to snag out of their handbags.

Then Nate had proposed to Sophie, and she had agreed to marry him. Parker had believed that making this step had been a good idea. After all, Nate and Sophie seemed to love each other a lot. That a wedding would mean all of them would be involved as well though hadn't come to her mind.

But Sophie hadn't hesitated a second to ask Parker if she wanted to be her bridesmaid, even though her friend knew that she wasn't good at such stuff at all. According to Eliot, she was Sophie's only real friend though. Apart from Tara maybe, but that was a different story.

And so, she had tried her best. She had listened to hours of Sophie's stories about the perfect dress, the perfect shoes and the perfect party. The perfect food, too, as one didn't want to disappoint the guests of course.

Parker had kept on smiling and nodding, just like Eliot had told her to. But she couldn't deny that she didn't entirely understand why one had to invest so much into such an event.

Was it really about getting married, or did the party matter more? Why was the dress so important? Why did there have to be so many guests? Why did the flowers matter? And why was the food so important?

So many questions, and no answers in Parker's opinion. Of course she could understand that a lot of women planned their wedding in their early childhood already. She hadn't really found the time for that back then, and found it hard to relate.

Especially as she liked Eliot's idea of marriage a lot better anyway. He had said that for him, it was entirely about loving each other, and about making a promise. A special promise: more special than any other she could think of. In his eyes, a party wasn't needed because he didn't want the stress. He thought what really mattered was making the couple's love for each other official. Nothing else.

Nate and Sophie had planned a big party though, and she had been nervous about attending it, afraid she could mess up and be a bad bridesmaid. She knew how much especially Sophie had been looking forward to this special day, and she wanted her friend to enjoy it to the fullest.

And then, the wedding had turned out to be so entirely different to everything Parker had expected. There had been no awkwardness, and she hadn't messed up either. Instead, it had been a wonderful ceremony, and the speeches Nate and Sophie had prepared for each other had been yet another proof for the fact that those two truly loved each other. Their words had brought tears to her eyes, had made her happy, and at the same time had caused a strange aching deep within her.

The party itself was as big and loud as she had expected, and so, after enjoying the delicious food, she had sneaked out into the mansion's huge backyard. For whatever reason the party guests rather wanted to stay inside and party there, instead of enjoying the lovely park that could be found behind the huge house. Parker was grateful for that though: at least out here, no one would bother her and she could be alone with her thoughts.

Thoughts that once again didn't really make sense to her. Over the past few years, she had learnt to understand her emotions a lot better, and also those of other people. But still there were moments that confused her. Like the fact that she could feel a lump in her throat that wouldn't go away, although she was happy for her friends. There was also something else though, and the more she thought about it, the more she started to get a suspicion of what it might be.

Closing her eyes, she stood in the middle of the large meadow then, enjoying the way the warm wind was caressing her face, the way the sun was warming her skin. Standing still like that, she could feel herself calming down a little, could hear how the noises, coming from the house, seemed to get quieter and quieter. But while she regained the ability to focus, her thoughts became clearer, too, and more and more, she started to understand herself a little better. Whether or not that was a welcome fact though...she couldn't tell anymore.

"You do know the party's inside, right?"

Eliot's voice didn't startle Parker. She had heard that he had left the house minutes ago. He wasn't the only one who was skilled enough to hear a person approaching from quite a distance: her job depended on such a skill as much as his. After all, a thief had to escape before the intruder could even notice she was around in the first place.

"Of course I do," she answered, looking up only briefly to acknowledge his presence. "Just wanted to be on my own a bit. To think, you know. Nothing special."

She could feel him frown even though she wasn't looking at him. "You want me to go inside again?" he wanted to know.

Parker shook her head. "No. Like I said...it's nothing special. Really."

And there it was again: the lump in her throat, making it hard to speak, even more now that she knew what had caused it. She could feel how he stepped closer, could feel his touch before his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

He didn't do more than that: just stood besides her, one arm wrapped around her shoulders, waiting. Because he knew that if he asked what was wrong, she wouldn't answer. Because he knew that she trusted in him enough to speak, and didn't need the kick in the butt the others had to give her at times.

"The wedding was nice, wasn't it?" Parker eventually asked, still staring ahead. "Not because it was romantic or because it was planned so perfectly. But...the whole thing itself, you know? All the things they said to each other. Sophie cried, you saw? Even Nate did. Happy tears. Because they promised to each other that nothing will ever get between them again, that they can always count on each other and belong together, and they announced that to the whole world. That was beautiful, wasn't it? To be reassured that this person is yours. Completely yours. And that you're theirs."

Once again, her voice trailed off. The wedding had affected her more than she would have ever dared to imagine. Seeing two people who were an official item now, promising that they belonged to each other, had been one of the most beautiful things she had witnessed so far. And her heart was aching because she wanted this for herself.

Since she had been a little girl, Parker had been alone. There had never been a person who had belonged to her, a person who wanted to be with her. Only with her. And not because they would have an advantage from that.

Now, so many years later, she was in a relationship and knew there was someone who loved her, for just being her. She didn't have to pretend, didn't have to hide anything, didn't have to be good at something to earn this love first before she was allowed to experience it. She knew Eliot was serious about their relationship, just like her, and she couldn't deny she wished to make such an official announcement to the world as well.

Only when his arm tightened around her shoulders, Parker realised that one lonely tear was rolling down her cheek. There was no doubt Eliot had noticed it, too. Her eyes closed as he placed a kiss into her hair. She swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in her throat, but didn't succeed. For the first time, she was experiencing what it was like to belong to someone, and she wanted more. She wanted what Nate and Sophie had. Because now that she finally had what she had always secretly been wishing for, she wanted to keep it.

"You know I'm all yours, right?" Eliot asked then. His words didn't scare her: she knew he wasn't psychic. He just knew her too well by now. "You can be absolutely sure of that."

"I know," Parker answered quietly. Without looking up, she turned around, wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled into him. He held her tight, not commenting on the fact that a few more tears fell: tears she couldn't stop, even though she wanted to tell herself that they were stupid. Why was she crying? Was it the fact that she wanted what her friends had, and didn't know how to ask for it, afraid that he might not want it as well? Or was it the fact that she knew he was honest, that he was indeed hers, and wouldn't dump her like so many people had in the past?

"Do you want to marry me?"

It was one single question, but it caused her entire body to tense. For a moment, Parker didn't react to Eliot's question at all. Instead, she wondered if she had misunderstood him, if her own wishes had just made her imagine that he would ask such a question.

After what felt like eternity, she pulled back, just enough to gaze up at him. The way he was looking back at her though answered all open questions. She hadn't imagined his words. He had really asked the question, and he was serious about it, waiting for an answer now.

"Yes," Parker answered, without thinking twice. A chuckle escaped her then, and this time, she didn't care for the tears that followed. "You have to be psychic, no matter what you're saying."

"Maybe, maybe not." Eliot winked at her. Leaning in then, he kissed her forehead, then her lips. "In fact, I wanted to ask you this for a while already. I just wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Especially as I never planned on getting married in the first place. But I also didn't plan on being in a relationship again, and now look at us." He brushed a loose curl out of her face. "Things with us are different. Always have been. And I think we're really good at making it work. So if we can be in a relationship, I'm pretty sure we can be married, too."

Parker's smile widened as she nodded at his words. "And remember, it's not about a party or all those clichés and bad stories people like to tell. It's about loving each other, and promising what Nate and Sophie promised to each other."

"Exactly," Eliot agreed, kissing her again. For a brief moment, she got lost in the sensation of the kiss. As they parted again, a strong rush of warmth filled her, making her giggle. It still fascinated her what kinds of feelings a person was able to experience. For so many years, she hadn't felt anything, except excitement, caused by stealing something shiny, or adrenaline, caused by jumping off a building. Who would have believed that people could make each other feel so good?

"I'm wondering what the others will say when we tell them that we're going to get married," she said.

"I'm sure they'll like the idea," he answered. "Especially as we won't plan such a huge, crazy party for our wedding."

She nodded in agreement. "I love you," she said then.

"I love you, too," he answered.

And once again, they kissed, soon forgetting the party inside the mansion, the guests and everything else that could disturb them. Parker could still remember a certain night months ago, when Eliot had joined her in the bar, when she had shared her thoughts with him, and he had assured her that those feelings were mutual. She could still remember how they had started to date: how he had taken her to the diner and then to his house. They had agreed to give a relationship a try.

Now, months later, Eliot and Parker were engaged, and she knew what it was like to love and to be loved in return. Months ago, she had wondered if those feelings were worth the effort. By now, she knew the answer for that was easy: they were more than worth it.


End file.
